Gloria is less than pleased with Jay's reaction to the arrival of Javier, Manny's infamously unreliable dad. Meanwhile, Phil is suffering from kidney stones and his dramatics leave Claire no other choice but to call for the hot firemen to rush him to the hospital, and Mitchell and Cameron have a harder time than Lily as they attempt to sleep train her.

Phil and Claire break from their traditional Valentine's Day dinner date and plan a little "role play" excursion. Meanwhile, Jay and Gloria's ideas of romance clash when he takes her to a comedy show, and Mitchell and Cameron play cupid for Manny.

Phil finally agrees to sell the old station wagon but only after a family trip down memory lane; Cameron asks Jay for help when Mitchell decides to build a life-size princess castle for Lily.

When an earthquake hits, Claire gets stuck in the bathroom with the plumber; Manny experiences an existential crisis while out with Jay; Mitchell and Cameron use the quake as an excuse to get out of a party thrown by a friend (Nathan Lane).

In an attempt to reconnect the family, Phil and Claire challenge the family to see who can abstain from using their electronic devices the longest. Meanwhile, Mitchell and Cameron attempt to get Lilly into the best pre-school and Gloria deals with the neighbor's barking dog.

Claire gets ready to spookify the Dunphy house for the trick or treaters during her favorite holiday. She gives each family member a role to play, but nothing goes right. Cameron won't stop hating the holiday due to a traumatic childhood experience. Mitchell had a terrible day at work, and Gloria acts weird after Jay and Manny tease her about her accent.

Claire and Haley have a bit of quality girl time while they're stuck at home sick, and Phil is preoccupied by the taunts of a chirping smoke detector. Gloria and Manny's surprise visit at Jay's work leads to headaches for Jay, and Cameron gets swept up by all the lights and cameras when he goes behind Mitchell's back and takes Lily for a commercial.

It's Manny's birthday and the family is gathering at a restaurant to celebrate, though Manny himself is depressed about getting older. Phil and Claire decide to engage in a not-so-friendly car race on the way to the restaurant, and Mitch and Cam get sidetracked when they stop at the mall to pick up a gift.

Mitchell tries to tell Cameron how he feels uncomfortable with his mom, Barb Tucker. Meanwhile, Haley breaks up with Dylan much to Phil's dismay and Claire's delight. Jay has a little stomach ache that gets exacerbated when he and Manny look it up on the Internet.

It's Phil and Claire's anniversary, and when the kids go to surprise them with breakfast in bed, they get a surprise of their own. Jay and Gloria's plans for a Vegas vacation are ruined because of a brutally honest email accidentally sent to Claire, and Mitchell and Cam try to get into a new restaurant owned by a mom at Lily's preschool.

The guest list for Lily's princess-themed birthday party gets a little out of hand when Mitchell decides to invite his mom, much to Claire's dismay, and disinvite Fizbo, much to Cameron's dismay. Things get even more strange when DeDe shows up with Claire's old high school boyfriend in tow, and Jay and Gloria each turn to their own unique methods of dealing with this gathering of misfits.

Cameron is overzealous in his planning of the spring musical performance at Luke and Manny's school. Jay's brother visits while Phil convinces the family to be in his new TV ad.

Mitchell and Cameron assess their family members in trying to decide who would best take care of Lily should anything happen to them.

Claire and Gloria's Mother's Day excursion outdoors with the kids turns into the mother of all disasters. Meanwhile, Phil and Jay share an awkward moment when they stay home to prepare dinner for everyone, and Cameron worries about gender roles in his relationship with Mitchell.

Mitchell and Cameron plan an evening with the whole family to break the happy news that they're attempting to adopt another child. However, things go wrong when they realize Lily may not take well to another baby in the house. Meanwhile, Claire and Jay are each focused with proving a point.

When an old neighborhood kid returns to town as a hugely successful internet billionaire, it gets Phil thinking of what could have been. Jay feels Manny could use a little dose of constructive criticism, and Cameron is offended when Mitchell questions the authenticity of his colorful childhood stories.

The Pritchett clan decide to celebrate Christmas a little early (and in a hurry) so they split up to gather the holiday trappings as Mitchell, Alex and Lily hunt for a tree, Gloria and Luke fetch the ornaments, and Claire and Haley shop for the gifts. Meanwhile, Phil and Manny buy the groceries and Jay and Cameron stand by to wrap presents.

Phil's preoccupation with a business opportunity blinds him to his new partner's inappropriate behavior around Claire. Meanwhile, Jay and Gloria may regret letting Mitchell and Cameron be their temporary house guests when their home is being fumigated.

Phil and Claire go overboard with drinks, and divulging personal information, on a night out to celebrate the sale of a house to Mitchell and Cameron's friends.

A visit from Cameron's father features an awkward dinner for Jay and Gloria at Mitchell and Cameron's house. Meanwhile, Claire helps Luke face the death of an older neighbor, Phil and Alex have a father-daughter bonding experience, and Haley throws a party without permission.

Phil buys a car without consulting Claire. Jay is on a mission to get to his high-school reunion with Gloria and Manny. Lily loses her favorite toy on a train.

Claire needs to get everyone out of the house before they make her look bad in front of a reporter from an important women’s business magazine. Meanwhile, Jay invites Manny to a little wine tasting in an attempt to spend some quality time together.