Meg lands an internship working with the school nerd at a television station.

Peter's jealously forces a trial separation; Stewie and Brian get glued together.

"The Bachelorette" comes to Quahog and Brian is chosen to be a contestant. Brian does not like the show, but participates just to have a vacation only to wind up falling in love with the bachelorette. Meanwhile, Chris gets a nasty pimple on his cheek, which talks to Chris and likes to cause mischief.

When Chris is supposed to be hazed for a school tradition, he runs off to South America; Peter quickly becomes frustrated by his new job at the beer factory.

Stewie becomes obsessed with Lois, after she saves Rupert. Though Lois doesn't take to the new Stewie all too well. Meanwhile, Peter thinks his doctor is molesting him, when he undergoes a prostate exam.

When a bully harasses Chris, Peter goes to his defense, but ends up beating him up. Peter realizes bullying is fun and begins to bully everyone in the house. Finally, Chris stands up to Peter and beats him senseless. Meanwhile, Stewie goes out without sunscreen and becomes obsessed with getting a tan. After Brian leaves him in the tanning booth for six hours, Stewie gets sunburned and fears he has cancer. While waiting for the results of his cancer screening, Stewie begins to live his life as if he had only days to live and drives Brian crazy with his demands.

Death grants Peter's wish to go back in time to 1984 when he was 18, but only for one night. He ends up bailing on a date with Lois to hang out with a movie actress. When he returns to the present, he soon realizes that everything is anything but normal, as he is now married to the former actress, and Lois is with Quagmire. Meanwhile, Stewie, Chris and Meg have also taken on Quagmire's charming characteristics.

Peter gets a lasting supply of gasoline for the year, so the family decides to use it to take a road trip to the Grand Canyon. They pack up and hit the road, but it takes them a while to realize that they had forgotten to bring Stewie with them; when they do, they must make their way home posthaste.

When Lois finds a lump on her breast, she goes to the doctor to test for cancer. The tests come back benign, but the doctor looks at her family medical history and reveals some news about Lois' heritage.

Peter, Joe, and Quagmire search for the source of a dirty joke.

Brian and Stewie travel back in time to the pilot episode of FAMILY GUY to change history, and then to change history again.

On the return from an adventurous day at an amusement park, the Griffins’ car breaks down in Amish country and they are stranded with no way out. When Meg falls for an Amish boy, the Griffins then find themselves in a crusade against the conservative locals.

Brian abuses Stewie's time machine and causes reality to run in reverse. So the two must work together to set things right before Stewie is “unborn.”

Peter and Lois decide to open a cookie store, but Peter ruins things when he decides to bring clients in his own way.

Quagmire's most treasured body part gets cut off in a freak accident and he is forced to learn how to live without it. Meanwhile, Stewie and Brian search for Mort after learning there is a $10,000 reward for turning him into the police for his involvement in a drug scam.

Stewie and Brian compete for the inheritance of a wealthy, older heiress. Meanwhile, Peter and Chris battle for Mr. Herbert's affection.

When Stewie receives a participation medal in his school's toddler games, he begins to question everything he has ever won. Meanwhile, Peter causes a fight between Lois' parents and must repair the damage he caused.

The Wi-Fi goes out in the Griffin house, leaving the family with nothing to do for the evening. In order to keep the family entertained, Peter and Lois decide to tell the kids the story of how they met and fell in love in the '90s.

Stewie designs a "Terminator" Peter robot to destroy Lois for trying to feed him broccoli, but when things don't go according to plan, Stewie and Brian must go on a Terminator-esque mission to save Stewie's life.

The guys regale each other with stories of youthful athletic accomplishments. Cleveland was a teenage baseball player from Cuba, Quagmire was a bad boy tennis superstar from New York and Peter was an underdog boxer from Philadelphia.

A new boss quells Peter’s favorite part about work: office birthdays. Stewie is put in detention and comes out a ruffian.

Stewie and Doug compete for the honor of class “snack captain”.

To restore his public image, Carter adopts a young girl from an orphanage, drawing jealousy from Lois.

Peter tries to protest Hollywood after learning that Brad Pitt was cast in a biopic about a politician. After Pitt injures himself on set, Peter must act out the role himself.