Flummoxed by feminism, Dick dons a dress to infiltrate Dr. Albright's women-only study group. Harry and Sally get jobs at a pancake restaurant.

Albright gets a new office, much to Dick's chagrin. Sally lands in the hospital---where she, Harry and Tommy pretend to be “ER” doctors.

Dick's romance with Mary is out in the open---and she doesn't like it. Meanwhile, Sally wants to be a cop.

When Harry runs for city councilman, Dick discovers the complexity of the democratic system and struggles to make the right vote.

Harry and Sally discover the true meaning of Christmas at the mall, where they get jobs. But Dick turns curmudgeonly. Tommy tries to find the perfect present for August.

Dick, fearing that Mary has him wrapped around her little finger, takes lessons in being "manly"---from Harry. Sally and Tommy have a showdown with the game Monopoly.

Dick's rudeness lands him in a sensitivity-training session. Dubcek's daughter takes Harry to her high-school reunion. Officer Don teaches Tommy how to drive.

The Solomons discover dreaming---and are shaken so much that they might have to go home for repairs.

Shaken by dreams, the Solomons may have to return home for repairs. But Dick doesn't want to go---he wants to marry Mary.

Dick and Albright wage a war of practical jokes and Sally tires of Don when she meets a yoga instructor. Meanwhile, Tommy joins a rock band, with Harry as his roadie.

Dick quakes at the prospect of a physical exam. Meanwhile, Sally and Tommy house-sit Albright's house on Halloween. Which is bad news for neighborhood trick-or-treaters.

Sally has a new boyfriend and Dick has a new friend: Don. Meanwhile, Harry goes to school.

Venusians disguised as gorgeous women plot to plunder Earth of its riches.

Dick, Harry and Tommy set out on a cross-country odyssey to save Earth from a Venusian plot.

Dick demands that Sally and Harry go to work, so she signs on as Albright's assistant and he gets a job tending bar. Then Dick decides on a career change: he wants to be cop.

Sally's been reading romance novels, and decides to try out her fantasies on Don; Dick thinks the college cafeteria's cashier hates him; Harry receives surprising results on his GED exam.

Dick tapes a promotional video for Pendelton; Don gives Sally a key to his apartment; and Nina and Harry find each other.

After Mary is made the new Dean of the School of Arts and Sciences, Dick uses her position to his advantage and ends up firing his arch nemesis, cafeteria worker Lucy, who then files a grievance. Sally prepares to lose her virginity to Don, but afterwards finds that she cannot talk to anyone about it, much to the other Solomons' annoyance.

Dick attends a function with Mary and finds that, because she is Dean, he is ignored by everybody except the wives of the other Deans. In order to prove his worth, he decides to hold a fashion show to raise enough money to have the dilapidated statue of Admiral Pendleton restored. Meanwhile, Sally is horrified when she learns that Don had dated other women before her, and strives to track them all down. Harry and Tommy try to raise their own funds by setting up a lemonade stand.

As 1998 comes to close, Dick worries that he hasn't accomplished anything worthwhile and struggles to do something to make the past year count. Meanwhile, Officer Don becomes annoyed with Sally after she uses her feminine wiles to persuade him to get tickets for Rutherford's exclusive Starlight Room, then changes her mind when he succeeds. At Happy Doug's bar, Harry and Tommy plan an explosive New Year's party and Harry hires on his old night school friends, Larry and Mrs. Deguzman, but they turn out to be layabouts.

When a meeting is rescheduled without her having been notified, Mary begins to have doubts about the longevity of her position as Dean, and Dick leads her to become paranoid that there is a conspiracy to have her removed from her job. The pair decide to investigate, and end up breaking into Judith's office by night for evidence, only to be caught by the police. Vicki Dubcek decides that the best thing Sally needs to help her get over her break up with Don is a weekend of riverboat gambling on the Cincinnati Queen, a floating casino - where Harry manages to win big, while Sally gets her lips on a Neil Diamond impersonator.

It is the day before Dick's birthday and he has ordered Sally, Harry and Tommy to throw him a surprise party. When in class he meets a woman called Charlotte Everly who appears to be very taken by his 'brilliance'. Charlotte first claims to be auditing his class, then later claims to be a reporter, then an intellectual groupie. She and her son wangle her way into his birthday plans, cancel his party and lock the guests that do arrive in the basement. She then reveals to Dick that she knows that Dick is an alien - and she wants to cut him open. Kathy Bates' appearance in this episode spoofed her role in the film Misery, when Dick refers to her as his "number one fan".

When Sally, Harry and Tommy are nearly crushed by a chandelier in a restaurant, they feel reborn, as if they are discovering everything for the first time. Dick is jealous, however, and while Sally and Harry volunteer themselves at a homeless shelter, he strives to have a near-death experience so that he might enjoy life like they do - and a faculty trip into the mountains presents itself as the perfect opportunity. Meanwhile, Tommy decides to waste no more time in his life - and asks Alissa to marry him.

At a charity auction for the Rutherford Boys Home, Dick wants everybody to applaud him and so starts a bidding war with Studwick for a painting and ends up paying seventeen hundred dollars for it. Meanwhile, Don complains when Sally's snoring keeps him up all night, so she decides to try to stay awake all night so that he can sleep, but ends up keeping him awake anyway. Back at home, Harry and Tommy have been given the job of devising a new mission statement, and so try to work out what their purpose is on Earth.

After hearing of how well his colleagues are doing in the stock market, Dick claims that he has earned enough money to share a holiday with Mary in Cancun. As a result, Dick is forced buy into the market in order to actually pay for the holiday, but he soon begins to lose money when the company he invests in is rumored on CNN to have overspent. Meanwhile, Sally cannot stand it when a tougher woman than her arrives in town, in the form of police officer Janice. Janice and Harry, however, take to each other.

Pendelton University has a new chancellor, who causes anger when he cuts funding and takes away tenure, so Dick holds a meeting, in which he convinces the faculty to resign en masse. Unfortunately, the chancellor accepts the resignations and leaves everybody in the faculty, bar Dick - who withdrew his own, without a job. Upon finding out about his betrayal, the faculty protest outside Dick's classroom and Mary refuses to be seen with him. Meanwhile, Tommy begins working at a pretzel store with his girlfriend Alissa, but begins to dislike working with her and gives Sally and Harry free pretzels, with which they start their own business right in front of the store.

Dick and Mary are getting ready for the annual Rutherford Badger Day Dance Contest, but there's a small problem - Mary can't dance. Harry however has teamed up with Nina, but when Dick sees just how good a dancer she is, he orders Harry to let him dance with her instead. Meanwhile, Tommy and Don become exasperated when Alissa and Sally become friends and try on nearly everything in the clothes store. Jealousy arises, however, when Tommy discovers that Sally saw Alissa naked in the changing room, and then Sally discovers that Alissa accidentally walked in on Don changing in the Solomons' toilet. After Dick (and Nina) win the dance competition, the episode closes with a wordless pas de deux, complete with orchestral accompaniment of George Gershwin's "He Loves and She Loves", in a tribute to the final scene of the 1957 film Funny Face starring Fred Astaire and Audrey Hepburn. A portion of the film's choreography is re-created by Dick and Mary.

After playing assistant to a magician at a child's birthday party, Dick decides to himself become a magician, with Sally as his assistant. They become a huge success, performing shows night after night at a local club, but show business soon starts to eat away at their offstage relationship until they hate each other. Meanwhile, Mary joins a defense class after being mugged in the park, while Harry joins the class as the man in the padded suit that everyone attacks.

Nina accuses Dick of knowing nothing about Mary, so in an attempt to prove her wrong, when Judith walks into the office announcing that she has two tenth-row tickets to a Gordon Lightfoot concert, Dick claims to already have front row tickets. Of course, he doesn't, and so attempts to find a pair of front row tickets before it is too late. Meanwhile, Sally tells Chaz, the Channel 10 anchorman, that she would like to start presenting the news instead, and so he agrees to let her interview Lightfoot in the company's box at the Rutherdome; but really, he intends to seduce her.

With the identity of Scoochie revealed to be Liam Neesam, who had visited Pendelton three years ago, Dick is panicked, and follows Liam and Mary to dinner, where he overhears Liam offering her a job with a six-figure salary. The other Solomons suggest that Dick reveal himself as another alien in order to gain Liam's respect. When he does, however, Liam reveals that he doesn't care for Mary, but that she is part of a huge plan to transform the Earth's entire population into monkeys, and rename it Planet Monkey World, so that it may be an exhibit for aliens. Meanwhile, Sally, Harry and Tommy discover that their favorite movie, Arthur 2: On the Rocks' has a 'prequel' - Arthur.

Mary is having trouble dealing with what she has just seen - Dick transforming Liam into a monkey, which he had done to stop him doing the same to the Earth's population. Dick consults the other Solomons and they decide that the best approach is to deny everything. Meanwhile, Mary meets with Nina and Judith, who confess that they believe Dick to be an international terrorist, so when Dick and Mary next meet, she demands that he tell her the truth about himself. So, Dick tells Mary that he and the others are aliens. Mary's reaction is first disbelief, then shock, and then she finds it sexy to be dating a spaceman. Elsewhere, the local store has been robbed and Sally catches Don hiding in the frozen foods freezer, where he admits that he hid because he was scared. Harry takes a different line and asks the shopkeeper Sam out on a date, but later runs into her working at a posh restaurant, where she instructs him to call her Samantha. Confused, Harry believes that he is dating twins.

The Solomons are struggling to take in the news - they have been ordered back home due to Dick's transgression with Liam. Dick's first instinct is to ask Mary to come, so he takes her to the planetarium before breaking the news to her that they are leaving, and asking her if she will join them. Meanwhile, since admitting his fear to Sally, Don has decided to quit the police force and open a muffin store, but Sally is disgusted by this career choice and decides to whip Don into shape - and turn him into a hardy police officer. At home, Harry and Tommy are attempting to organize a farewell party for the aliens, but have no money, so they decide to max out their credit cards and not worry about paying the bill, since they'll be halfway across the galaxy - they even hire Elvis Costello to sing Fly Me to the Moon.