It's the 'Song for Albion' competition and Frank has entered a song by Blue Heaven. When he finds out that his dad has 'secretly fixed it so that all other acts are crap' he determines to win ... but he has reckoned without the replacement for Big Larry!

Frank has become obsessed with a woman who gets off the morning train but he is too shy to ask her out. It appears that the social security are obsessed with him too and so he pretends to be Napoleon Bonaparte in order to avoid being forced to take a job! But who is the mysterious Professor Wiseman who he needs to be convinced of his insanity?

Blue Heaven attract attention from a promo video producer, who in turn attracts attention from Frank because she has a 'nice arse'! When she suggests that his family should be involved in a video feature of the band he is crestfallen but he agrees because he believes it will help him get the girl.