Delta talks a very reluctant Darden into participating in a charity bachelor auction -- with disastrous consequences for both of them.

A childhood neighbor who fawned over Delta, Eugene Dorr ""the bore,"" learns of her recent divorce so he shows up at The Green Lantern hoping for a date. At the urging of Thelma and Lavonne, Delta reluctanly agrees, thinking that the date will be awful. That is, until Eugene shows up at the door with candy, flowers, perfume, photos, and even a love seat. When they arrive (via limo) at the ritzy Magnolia, Delta finds that Eugene's rented out the entire resturaunt for the evening -- and he's even hired Willie Nelson to sing.