Damon Wayans as Michael Kyle

Episodes 123

Pilot

69%
March 28, 200123m
1x1

Michael and Jay are a loving and married couple who have three children: Junior, who wants to go to a concert to see MC Murder Death; Claire, who wants some privacy in her life; and little Kady, the cutest child in the house.

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The Truth Hurts

77%
March 28, 200123m
1x2

Michael suspects the family is less than truthful about certain matters. Junior gets some tattoos; Michael annoys Kady.

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Grassy Knoll

85%
April 4, 200123m
1x3

Jay is trying to get rid of some old clothes, so after Michael opposes to that she and him make a deal that everything that is not worn by the end of the week has to go. Meanwhile, Junior is trying to learn how to play the guitar and his friend convinces him to smoke pot. Kady gets angry at Claire for avoiding her.

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Of Breasts and Basketball

80%
April 4, 200123m
1x4

Michael doesn't take it well when he loses to his teenage son at basketball. Meanwhile, Claire thinks the best way to attract boys is to have bigger breasts, so she buys a padded bra, much to the dislike of Jay who punishes her for doing so.

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Making the Grade

80%
April 11, 200123m
1x5

Junior fakes an A in algebra while his family, not fooled by the charade, fakes a celebration. Meanwhile, Claire blackmails Junior because she had caught him red-handed forging his report card.

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Working It

80%
April 11, 200123m
1x6

Michael hires an attractive girl to tutor Junior in math and later regrets his actions. Also, Jay doesn't like the direction her relationship is going with Claire, who is turning into a typical teenager.

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Snapping and Sniffing

80%
April 18, 200123m
1x7

Jr. is having problems at school with a bully, so Michael and Jay invite his parents over to discover some of the kid's weak points. Jr. teases the kid back and Claire punches him in the nose making Jr. feel humiliated. Meanwhile, Michael tells Jay she is not around enough, and she starts to realize that when she misses Kady's first tooth and her new "smell the cushions" thing.

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He Said, She Said

80%
April 18, 200123m
1x8

When Jay asks Michael to spend less time watching TV and more time with the family, they both learn that their biggest problem is communication.

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Breaking Up and Breaking It

80%
April 25, 200123m
1x9

Michael tries to get Claire away from her new boyfriend by befriending him, but things get touchy when she dumps him. Jr. overdoes it in the bathroom.

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A Little Romance

80%
May 2, 200123m
1x10

Michael's promiscuous brother Ken (Keenen Ivory Wayans) comes to visit with his attractive new girlfriend, Tiara, who contrasts with the way Michael has just realized Jay appears.

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Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow

80%
Season Finale
May 9, 200123m
1x11

Michael's accountant dies suddenly, making him take a whole new perspective about his life. He buys a wig (or a hairpiece as he likes to call it) and starts to demonstrate his love for his family in a weird way. He even buys a motorcycle and an RV, in a misguided effort to live life to its fullest.

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Mom's Away, Part 1

85%
September 26, 200123m
2x1

Michael contends with multiple problems, including a positive pregnancy test, a sad six-year-old and Jr's basketball troubles.

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Mom's Away, Part 2

85%
September 26, 200123m
2x2

Jay visits her mom while Michael starts telling Kady the "story" of her birth. Meanwhile Claire's friend Charmaine is pregnant.

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No Rules

85%
October 3, 200123m
2x3

Michael decides to let the kids live a rule-free life, but on the condition that they do everything for themselves; including cooking and paying for their own phone calls.

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Perfect Dad

80%
October 10, 200123m
2x4

Fed up with Michael's parenting style, the children confront their father with a description of the ideal dad.

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Thru Thick and Thin

80%
October 17, 200123m
2x5

When Jay returns, Michael remains silent about her obvious weight gain. The episode builds to a dream sequence, in which Janet has a nightmare and the entire family is morbidly obese after Michael decides to grow big with her.

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Michael's Garden

85%
October 24, 200123m
2x6

Michael has problems in the bathroom and needs to have a colonoscopy; he has a dream that his doctor is singer Lou Rawls. Lou Rawls guest stars in an episode that takes a lighthearted but informative look at a serious problem: colon cancer. It's especially acute among African-Americans over 40 - and guess who's 40?

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He Heard, She Heard

85%
October 31, 200123m
2x7

Michael looks to teach Claire a lesson after she sneaks out of the house and uses Kady as an accomplice.

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Let Them Eat Pie

80%
November 7, 200123m
2x8

Claire, playing a dare game with Jr. and Kady, eats Michael's piece of pie. Michael's punishment: Let them eat pie (and only pie). Meanwhile, Michael offers to be the dieting Jay's "chubby buddy": He'll eat the same lo-cal food she does. Of course, he doesn't tell her that he plans to cheat.

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Jay Gets Fired

80%
November 14, 200123m
2x9

Jay's in for a surprise when she takes Claire and Kady to her office on Take Your Daughters to Work Day: She gets fired. After a bad business decision costs Jay her job and her self-esteem, she becomes a homemaker.

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The Whole World is Watching

80%
November 21, 200123m
2x10

Michael and Janet's romantic overtures are seen on the Internet after Jr. gets new computer equipment that includes a 24-hour web cam.

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Letting Go

75%
November 28, 200123m
2x11

Kady has acquired a hamster and Claire has a crush on a boy named Tony. Both developments pose parental challenges for Michael and Jay. The hamster dies. And Michael wishes Claire's new beau would follow suit.

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Learning to Earn It

80%
December 12, 200123m
2x12

Michael is thrilled when the children start their own businesses after squandering their allowances in one day.

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Quality Time

80%
January 16, 200223m
2x13

Marriage counselors back Michael's belief that he's entitled to some time alone after spending time with Janet, much to her dismay.

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Get Out

80%
January 23, 200223m
2x14

Chaos erupts when Michael tries to get his always-tardy family dressed and out the door to a wedding within just 15 minutes.

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Road Trip

80%
January 30, 200223m
2x15

The family goes on an unpleasant road trip to Paul Revere's house, to find it closed.

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Table for Too Many, Part 1

85%
February 6, 200223m
2x16

Michael, who dislikes going out to dinner because it's always an overpriced ordeal, allows Janet to convince him to take the family to a Japanese restaurant.

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Table for Too Many, Part 2

80%
February 6, 200223m
2x17

The family goes out to eat at a Japanese restaurant. Once there, the Kyles must share a table with an incredibly annoying family, the Tylers. Michael feels like he's being ripped off at every turn; things get out of control between the two families and even the restaurant employees. The two families have been enemies ever since.

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Double Date

80%
February 13, 200223m
2x18

Michael agrees to let Claire go on her first date with Tony, but only on condition that it is a double date with Janet and himself.

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Failure to Communicate

80%
February 22, 200223m
2x19

A huge argument arises when Michael's mother and father, who have not spoken to each other in years, visit the Kyle household.

Note: This episode was originally intended to air in season one, but for unknown reasons, ABC pulled back to season 2 Episode 19. Which is why Jazz Raycole portrays Claire, making this episode her very final appearance in the series.

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Papa Said Knock You Out

80%
February 27, 200223m
2x20

Junior asks his dad to teach him how to box so he can protect his sister's honor; Junior knocks out his dad in boxing on a lucky shot.

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Return of the Wall

80%
March 4, 200223m
2x21

Competitive Janet and easygoing Michael use contrasting methods to coach Kady's soccer team. Michael takes over the coaching of Jay's girls soccer team only to find his opponents are Jay's new team.

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Working Relationship

80%
March 20, 200223m
2x22

Jay badgers Michael into giving her a job, where she soon begins to get ideas above her station. Michael discovers that Janet's personality is not a good fit for his office, and Kady reenacts a memorable scene from `E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial'.

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Jr. Kyle, Boy Genius

80%
March 27, 200223m
2x23

Janet and Michael are astounded when their often dim-witted son shines on an IQ test, ranking him as a genius. Junior thinks he got a 1600/1600 on his SAT's but gets it confused with a girl named Michelle Kyle. Junior got a 200/1600, even though you get 300 for spelling your name right.

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Back Story

80%
April 3, 200223m
2x24

When the kids tease him about getting old, Michael pretends to have hurt his back in a game of Twister so they will have to cater to his every whim.

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Make Over

80%
May 1, 200223m
2x25

Jay gets a makeover after being compared to an old flame from high school. Meanwhile, Junior gets himself locked in a girl's locker after a misfortunate attempt to steal her bra.

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The Bowling Show

80%
May 8, 200223m
2x26

The Kyles face the Tylers in a game of bowling during Star Trek night. The Tyler's daughter tries to charm Junior into throwing the ball and not caring; Junior develops a crush on her.

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Jr. Gets His License

80%
May 15, 200223m
2x27

Michael is stopped by a cop while giving Junior a driving lesson and it seems that Michael's license has expired. So father and son must both take driving tests. Junior gets his license and buys an old clunker instead of what Michael chooses for him.

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Anniversary, Part 1

85%
May 22, 200223m
2x28

Michael and Janet's 15th anniversary is approaching. Jay's friend Wanda brings her Brian McKnight's tickets (a concert Jay was really looking forward to see), but unfortunately she has to turn it down because it's on the same night as their anniversary.

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Anniversary, Part 2

85%
Season Finale
May 22, 200223m
2x29

The anniversary day finally comes and Michael goes out to play golf, leaving Jay devastated at home. Later, she goes out for drinks with her girlfriend Wanda, who insists Jay should confront Michael. Michael pulls off a lavish ceremony for the renewal of their vows. Guest stars Brian McKnight.

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The Kyles Go to Hawaii, Part 1

85%
September 25, 200223m
3x1

The Kyles are leaving for their family vacation on Hawaii, but instead of taking only one flight straight to the island, Michael books a 43-hour flight to Hawaii with several layovers in order to save money. Plus, Michael chastises Janet for packing too many clothes.

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The Kyles Go to Hawaii, Part 2

85%
September 25, 200223m
3x2

Finally in Hawaii, Michael and Janet decide to go out on a romantic dinner, leaving their kids all alone. Claire and Jr. fight over who'll have to stay in the room babysitting for Kady, but Claire lets her brother get out of the duty, after all it's not often he gets a date. Jr. has a memorable night on the beach with Leilani, a native girl. Michael and Janet are pursued by two attractive strangers; Claire goes on a shopping spree.

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The Kyles Go to Hawaii, Part 3

85%
October 2, 200223m
3x3

A mad scramble ensues when Michael finds out that the family's flight home from Hawaii leaves much earlier than he thought, but matters are complicated when a love-smitten Jr. insists on staying with his new love, Leilani. Meanwhile Kady refuses to leave without her beloved doll, Little Pippy, and Claire has to go to extremes to keep her parents from finding out about her exorbitant hotel charges.

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Samba Story

75%
October 9, 200223m
3x4

Michael and Janet try to spice up their date nights by taking samba lessons, but their instructors arouse jealousy.

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Diary of a Mad Teen

80%
October 16, 200223m
3x5

While making Claire's bed, Jay finds her diary hidden under the mattress. She can't resist the temptation of reading it and learns that her daughter is thinking about becoming sexually active. Michael is scheduled for an appointment with the eye doctor even though he insists there's nothing wrong with his sight; he asks Junior to drive and Michael reprimands him for his poor driving skills.

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Claire's New Boyfriend

80%
October 23, 200223m
3x6

Claire drops Tony for zip-code boy 1040-EZ, because her father displayed a liking for Tony.Jr. draws his mother's portrait.

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Crouching Mother, Hidden Father

85%
October 30, 200223m
3x7

Jay volunteered to be the director for Kady's kindergarten class play, but due to illness she is forced to step away from the production, leaving Michael to fill the void; he allows the kids to do whatever they want.

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The Fighting Kyles

85%
November 6, 200223m
3x8

Sick and tired of listening to their kids fights, Michael and Janet act like they are fighting themselves so Jr. and Claire can see how annoying it is and quit it.

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Sister Story

80%
November 13, 200223m
3x9

Michael's sister Kelly is coming over for the weekend, which freaks Jay out because every time Kelly comes over she overstays her welcome and always gets on Jay's nerves. This time is no different and it sparks a rivalry.

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Jr's Dating Dilemma

85%
November 20, 200223m
3x10

Michael's advice about women backfires when Jr. ends up with two dates to a dance. Plus, Jay dreams Michael is having an affair with Janet Jackson.

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Jay the Artist

100%
November 27, 200223m
3x11

Feeling that she has no space and time of her own due to home duties, Jay decides to paint. The result is a portrait of Michael based on Michelangelo's David, which makes Michael feel a little bit "diminished". Michael renews acquaintances with his old buddy Steve, while the kids are encouraged to develop their artistic abilities aswell. Claire designs clothes, Kady plays the piano and Junior writes some bizarre poetry

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Chair Man of the Board

100%
December 4, 200223m
3x12

Michael's old friend Tommy is coming over and Michael is very excited because he and Tommy used to compete for everything. But his excitement soon turns into awkwardness when Tommy shows in on a wheelchair and Michael doesn't know how to act with the situation. Tommy decides to take advantage of that until they have a talk in which Tommy asks Michael to treat him like he used to, because despite the wheelchair he's the same guy that used to race Michael for anything. Meanwhile, Claire is caught shoplifting and gets grounded for it. When she confronts Kady about who put the nail polishers on her purse she feels so guilty she confesses to their parents that Claire didn't do it. The punishment? She will no longer be treated like a baby.

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Open Your Heart

100%
December 11, 200223m
3x13

Jay decides to attend a ""Open Your Heart"" seminar for struggling couples, even though she and Michael are happier than ever. Her excuse is ""prevention"", but Michael warns her not to try fixing something that isn't broken. At the seminar, they are teased against each other and stop talking to one another. It takes Kady suffering an accident at school for them to realize how important communication between them really is. Meanwhile, Michael wants his children to learn the value of money and tells Jr. to start his own business selling monkeyfish like he. Jr., instead of the monkeyfish, decides to get 100% refunds on the clothes Claire buys with a 40% discount at the store she's working. When Jr. gets caught, Claire gets fired and Michael punishes him by making he wear the clothes he wanted refund.

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Michael's Tribe

100%
December 18, 200223m
3x14

Michael (aka: Chief Bald Eagle) is recruited to camp out with Kady and her friends and teach them Native American lore. Meanwhile, Clare and ""the new Tony"" plan to stay out all night themselves: they're plotting to sneak out to a ""rave.""

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Blackout

100%
January 22, 200323m
3x15

Michael wants some time alone in the house and makes a deal with Jay for her and the kids to get out of the house. But of course it doesn't come as easy as he hoped. He has to pay for Claire to agree on going to the mall and is forced to watch The Little Mermaid with Kady for the hundredth time. He switches the movie to Gremlins, which scares the death out of the poor girl, and when the power goes off Claire freaks out about losing her entire work on the computer. In the end, the power failure ends up bringing the Kyles closer together.

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Man of the Year

100%
January 29, 200323m
3x16

Jay nominates Michael for the ""Small Businessman of the Year"" award and he assumes he's going to win it (especially after a golfing buddy on the organization's board tells him: ""If my vote were the only one that counted, you'd be a shoo-in""). Meanwhile, Claire helps herself to items from Jay's makeup bag once too often.

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Jr's Risky Business - Part 1

100%
February 5, 200323m
3x17

As a very impressed Michael sees it, his son's girlfriend, Vanessa is an absolute prize: ""She's beautiful, smart, personable and polite... you guys have nothing in common,"" he tells Jr. But there's something about her that rubs Jay the wrong way. Elsewhere in the courtship department, Kady's similarly smart and personable gentleman caller is a budding piano prodigy named Franklin. As for Claire, all she's courting is a severe case of nerves: the PSATs are coming up and her face has broken out in hives.

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Jr's Risky Business - Part 2

100%
February 12, 200323m
3x18

After walking in on Jr. and his girlfriend having sex on his bed, Michael decides that he and Junior can no longer live under the same roof and throws his son out. Feeling sympathetic for her baby, Jay opposes to Michael's attitude, but at the same time agrees the boy needs a severe punishment. She had Jr. stay on a tent in the backyard until she can cool things down with Michael, who only realizes he might be estranging his son for good after Vanessa has a woman-to-woman talk with Jay. Michael lets Jr. move back, remembering that he once was in the same position as Jr.

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Jury Duty

90%
February 26, 200323m
3x19

Michael and Jay are asked to serve jury duty together. Michael's elected foreman and wants to move on the trial quickly so he can get home to watch the ""Godfather"" marathon on TV. But Jay won't vote in guilty because she thinks there has to be a debate first. Thanks to that, Michael ends up missing the marathon, and has to rent the videos to catch up with the movie. At the video store, he meets an insurance salesman whom he mistakes for a mobster, and is convinced that the mob is after him due to the case. The case ends up being dismissed before they can vote, and Jay is disappointed that Michael wouldn't back her up but has her revenge when Michael acts like a fool.

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Here Come Da Judge

100%
March 5, 200323m
3x20

When Jr and Claire find a lost wallet containing $500, it's time for a session of ""family court"" to decide who gets the money. Meanwhile, Claire's boyfriend Tony induces her to become a vegetarian.

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Claire's Permit

100%
March 26, 200323m
3x21

Claire has taken her driving permit, but Michael won't lend her the car because he doesn't think she can drive very well. Nevertheless, Claire steals the car keys thinking if she goes out really quick while her parents are gone they will never notice. Unfortunately, she drives by them on her way to meet her friends, and Michael decides to teach her a lesson on the Michael Kyle style: stealing the car and making Clare feel guilty about it. She goes to Junior for help, and they call the police reporting the stolen car. Michael ends up in jail due to the mixup, but he and Clare end up getting along after everything is cleared up.

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Sharon's Picture

100%
April 9, 200323m
3x22

Jay gets mad at Michael after finding a photo of an attractive former girlfriend among his things. Franklin has trouble admitting that his little sister Aretha is an outstanding singer.

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Tee for Too Many

100%
April 30, 200323m
3x23

Jay decides to spend more quality time with Michael - by watching him play golf. Meanwhile, Jr., who only wants to go to college because Vanessa's going, asks Franklin for help with the application essay.

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The Big Bang Theory

100%
May 7, 200323m
3x24

Michael and Jay panic when Claire reveals that she and Tony have decided to have sex. Her parents try by all means to change their minds and stop them, unsuccessfully. When the day and time comes, their find out Claire has sneaked out of the house and panic. Claire and Tony show up a few minutes later, and just when Michael is ready to kill him, Tony reveals that they didn't do anything. Just when they were about to do it, he opened the drawer on the hotel room's nightstand and found a bible, which he took as a sign from God. But he doesn't have to know that every hotel has a bible.

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Not So Hostile Takeover

100%
May 14, 200323m
3x25

Claire comes home with the exciting news that she was invited to senior prom. Jay is excited about it and volunteers to chaperone at the dance, in order to keep Claire safe from her date, a senior quarterback. But Jay's exaggerated excitement makes Claire feel uncomfortable, especially when her parents are crowned queen and king of the prom. Michael tells Claire that she shouldn't be upset about it because Jay never attended her own prom as she was giving birth to Junior that night, and so Claire lets her mom enjoy her moment. Meanwhile, Junior falls into another one of Michael's plans once he tries to teach the kid a lesson about money management and ends up turning his car the exact opposite of Junior's plans.

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Graduation - Part 1

100%
May 21, 200323m
3x26

Jr.'s graduation is coming up, and he breaks the news to his family that he wants to go to college. At first shocked, Michael decides to help him make a good interview, but his anxiety and lack of good sense makes him look like a complete moron. He even tries to bride the interviewer, when he's finally asked to leave Jr. alone. The kid does reasonably good. A few days later a letter arrives at the Kyles, saying that Jr. got accepted but has to take summer school classes. Meanwhile, Clare wears a blond wig to call her parents attention, thinking she has been forgotten now that Jr. is on the spot. And Franklin applies to the soon available son spot on the Kyle family.

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Graduation - Part 2

100%
Season Finale
May 21, 200323m
3x27

Junior finally graduates, and his parents give him a trip to Japan as a gift – and as a way to separate Junior and Vanessa, who are planning on moving in together and getting married as soon as they start college. Both Kady and Clare admit their sadness on Junior leaving, and Michael and Jay feel proud of having raised a semi-successful child. They go out to relive some of their memories and when they come back late at night they find Junior and Vanessa sitting in the kitchen. He's decided not to go to Japan anymore. Vanessa is pregnant.

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From Dummy to Daddy

100%
September 24, 200323m
4x1

After hearing the shocking news that their son Junior is going to become a father, Michael and Jay freak out. They try to talk with him and help him realize he can't support a family living in their garage and having no job, so Michael offers him a job at his firm. Due to Michael's teasing with the boy, he gets late for his first day and Michael fires him after his second tardiness. But seeing that his son needs all the help he can get, Michael gives him another chance. Meanwhile, Tony feels guilty about having spicy thoughts about Claire and Franklyn is still out for Junior's spot on the Kyle family.

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The Sweet Hairafter

100%
October 1, 200323m
4x2

Michael meets his friend Jimmy at the golf club and is impressed with how much hair he's grown with the help of some ""miracle"" pills called ""Come Hair Now"". As he starts to take them in overdose, weird stripes of hair rise from his chronically bald head. He's jealous of his hair and won't let anyone touch it. He also starts to get paranoiac that Jay is trying to kill him after they make a life insurance, but turns out it was just one of the side effects of the pill. Meanwhile, Kady becomes very jealous of Claire when she volunteers to be on the big sister program.

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Jr. Executive

100%
October 8, 200323m
4x3

Michael wants Jr. to learn the family business by starting at the bottom, so he assigns Jr. to do menial jobs around Kyle Trucking. Jr., however, decides to use the fact that he's the boss' son to his advantage and convinces other employees to do his work for him. Meanwhile, Claire arranges a secret date with a guy she met on the Internet in a Shakespeare chat room.

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Jay Goes to School

100%
October 15, 200323m
4x4

Jay decides to go to college and get her psychology degree, which Michael fully reprehends her for. He doesn't want her to put the household in second because it would jeopardize the entire family and eventually could ruin their marriage. After going to a real psychologist, Michael and Jay come to terms and she agrees to scale back her classes as he decides to let her pursue her dream. Meanwhile, Junior's friends turn his old crib into some sort of vehicle.

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Meet the Parents

100%
October 22, 200323m
4x5

Vanessa's parents come over the Kyles house to discuss the future baby's situation. Michael is outraged with the demands from the Scotts, but Calvin's size makes Michael think twice before taking any drastic measures. They take the Scotts out for dinner and are left with the bill. Realizing they have a couple of con artists on their hands, Michael and Jay stand up for themselves and set the baby's true needs – which don't include a new house for the Scotts as Calvin wanted.

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He's Having a Baby

100%
October 29, 200323m
4x6

Worried about Junior's fathering skills, Michael decides to enroll him in a parenting course. Junior is reluctant to attend, so Michael gives him a water balloon that Junior should keep for a week as if it was the baby. If it breaks, he'll have to attend the course. Michael doesn't let Junior have it easy, and Junior insists that more than wanting to teach him how to be a good parent, Michael doesn't have any trust in him.

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The Funeral

100%
November 5, 200323m
4x7

The Kyles are willing to support Michael's inconsolable employee, Larry, who can't get over losing his 103-year-old grandmother. But Larry goes overboard when, at the funeral, he asks little Kady to kiss his ""Grammy"" goodbye and for Jay to sing his beloved grandmother's favorite R&B song.

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Ultrasound

100%
November 12, 200323m
4x8

When Jay works hard to get in shape and run a marathon, Michael thinks that, since he's a man, he too can run the marathon - without any real training. Meanwhile, bible-quoting Tony asks the gorgeous Claire to dress ""ugly"" so he won't feel so turned on.

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Marathon

100%
November 19, 200323m
4x9

The Kyles and Vanessa's parents escort her to her first ultrasound. When asked if they wanted to know the baby's sex, Michael is the only one who stands out with a positive answer. Obsessed with knowing whether he's having a grandson or a granddaughter, he tries by all means to have the doctor tell him. He finally assumes it's a boy, and tells Jay and eventually the rest of the family. But in the end the situation reverses as they all confirm with the doctor the real sex of the future Kyle and leave Michael out in the rain. Meanwhile, Franklyn freaks out with the idea of losing Kady to ""Smilin' Willie"" and tries to learn how to be a dance master.

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While Out

100%
November 26, 200323m
4x10

Much to Claire's delight, Michael and Jay forget to recite their house rules — ""No friends, no fires, no freedom, no fun"" — before going out for the night. As a result, Claire decides to throw a party so she can get in with the so-called right crowd. Things get raucous when someone spikes the punch and a drunken Tony fulfills a fantasy and streaks down the street naked.

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Michael's Band

100%
November 26, 200323m
4x11

When Michael's old friend and former bandmate, Johnny ""Saxophone"" Watson, comes to town for a gig, it turns out Johnny's piano player can't make it. Michael eagerly accepts an invitation to take the man's place, but refuses to admit that his musical skills have gotten rusty. Meanwhile, love is blind when it comes to Franklin realizing that his little sister, Aretha, is a much better singer than the tone-deaf Kady.

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The Lady is Not a Tramp

100%
December 10, 200323m
4x12

Michael's imagination takes off when he finds a package of condoms in daughter Claire's backpack — the same day her boyfriend, Tony, is returning from a month in the desert. Annoyed that her father is jumping to conclusions, Claire decides to give him a taste of his own unique brand of discipline. Meanwhile Jr. accidentally gives Kady his pet dog's medicine — and Kady pretends to turn into a dog.

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Of Mice and Man

100%
December 17, 200323m
4x13

When Jay finds mouse droppings, she demands that Michael hire an exterminator to get rid of them, but, as usual, Michael is determined to handle it himself. Meanwhile, Claire is also freaked out by a rodent when she accidentally runs over a squirrel while driving home.

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Moving on Out

100%
December 24, 200323m
4x14

Tired of living in the garage, Jr. looks for an apartment and enlists his buddy, John, to be a co-signer… except that John has to dress up and pose as Jr.'s grandmother for the realtor. When Jr. and Vanessa's families come to visit the couple's new apartment, Jay is shocked to find that her new grandchild might be living in a run-down building with yellow police tape around the entrance.

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Candy Wars

100%
December 31, 200323m
4x15

When Kady wants to spend some quality time with her father, she enlists Michael's help in the school candy drive. But when the father of last year's winner claims he can prevail once again, a competitive Michael loses sight of helping Kady and commits to selling an exorbitant number of chocolate bars.

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Jr. Sells His Car

100%
January 7, 200423m
4x16

Jr. restores his prized 1964 Impala, but then he and Vanessa surprise everyone when they decide to sell it in order to have money for their new baby. Meanwhile, Franklin seeks advice from Michael on how to act more like a normal kid.

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The Anniversary Present

100%
January 14, 200423m
4x17

Michael and Jay try to hide their disappointment when they don't receive the wedding anniversary gifts each are expecting from each other. Meanwhile, with Franklin's help, novice cook Claire hopes to prepare a gourmet dinner for her parents' anniversary present.

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Illegal Smile

100%
January 21, 200423m
4x18

The day after an anti-wrinkle injection goes awry for Michael and he ends up with an unnatural expression, he has to fight a traffic ticket in court. The judge is angered by his frozen grin and sentences him to a night in jail, where Michael's cell mate, Big Guy, thinks Michael is coming on to him since he keeps smiling at him.

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Outbreak Monkey

100%
January 28, 200423m
4x19

When an ecstatic Michael scores a ticket to see basketball star LeBron James play at Madison Square Garden, his excitement quickly turns to paranoia when, just days before the game, everyone in the Kyle household – except Michael – comes down with the flu. To ensure that he won't miss the game, he goes to absurd extremes to keep from getting sick, including spraying disinfectant on his family and using a ten-foot grabber to hand Jay her orange juice.

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Empty Nest - Part 1

55%
February 4, 200423m
4x20

During a rare occasion when Michael and Jay have the house to themselves, they find themselves reminiscing about the fun times they've had with their kids and various friends. Some of these memorable moments include Jay's obsession with her weight and Michael's visit to a proctologist.

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Empty Nest - Part 2

60%
February 11, 200423m
4x21

During a rare occasion when Michael and Jay have the house to themselves, they find themselves reminiscing about the fun times they've had with their kids and various friends. Some of these memorable moments include Jay's obsession with her weight and Michael's visit to a proctologist.

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Calvin Comes to Stay

100%
February 18, 200423m
4x22

Calvin, Vanessa's gregarious father, has an argument with his wife, Jasmine, gets kicked out of the house and moves in with the Kyles, against their wishes. When he starts eating everything in sight and keeps everyone awake with his loud snoring, a frustrated Michael comes up with a clever plan to get Calvin back home.

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Calvin Goes to Work

100%
February 25, 200423m
4x23

When the overwhelmingly strong and gregarious Calvin, Vanessa's dad, begs Michael to give him a job at Kyle Trucking, Michael does so reluctantly and his worst fears are realized. Calvin's way of dealing with customers and merchandise leaves a little to be desired, and now Michael must find a way to get rid of the man without getting himself hurt in the process. Meanwhile, Claire gets Franklin to help her with her science paper.

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Romantic Night

100%
March 3, 200423m
4x24

Wanting to spend quiet time together, Michael plans a romantic evening with Jay at an exclusive hotel. Then, when Jr. mistakenly cancels the reservation, Michael tries to create a romantic night at home. But things take a disastrous turn when Michael hurts his head trying to shut off the water valve, Jay handcuffs them to each other – but can't find the key – and a burnt roast almost causes the house to burn down.

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The Director

100%
March 10, 200423m
4x25

In his excitement to tape a basketball game, Michael accidentally records over a home video of Kady's first steps, which happens to be one of Jay's most cherished family moments. When Jay decides to have a family home movie night, Michael must act quickly and enlists Franklin's help to reenact that moment of Kyle family history.

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The Maid

100%
May 5, 200423m
4x26

While Jay is away at a seminar, Michael hires a maid, Mrs. Hopkins, to look after the family. Mrs. Hopkins fulfills their every need and want to a sweet perfection, including homemade ice cream, an immaculately clean house and handmade outfits for Claire. When Jay comes home, she appreciates Mrs. Hopkins' attention to every detail, but begins to feel that perhaps she has taken over just a bit too much.

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Hand Model

100%
May 12, 200423m
4x27

In a twist of fate, Michael is recruited as a hand model during Claire's modeling audition. As he flaunts his newfound fame, he is careful to protect the family's new financial asset – his hands. Meanwhile Franklin feels threatened by Kady's friendship with Rachel, so, on Jr.'s advice, he takes matters into his own hands.

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What Do You Know?

100%
May 19, 200423m
4x28

The family plays a game which shows them exactly how much they know about each other.

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The Baby - Part 1

100%
May 26, 200423m
4x29

Jr. and Vanessa announce that they want to have the baby at home with the help of Summer Breeze, a midwife whose natural childbirth methods include the whole family's participation.

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The Baby - Part 2

100%
Season Finale
May 26, 200423m
4x30

Jr. and Vanessa announce that they want to have the baby at home with the help of Summer Breeze, a midwife whose natural childbirth methods include the whole family's participation.

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Fantasy Camp - Part 1

100%
September 21, 200423m
5x1

Michael can't focus on much else after learning that he'll be going to sports legend Michael Jordan's fantasy basketball camp in Las Vegas. Everyone shares his excitement – but for different reasons – and finds some reason as to why they should tag along. Once there, Michael learns that there's been a mix-up with the game schedule, so he resorts to some inventive ploys of his own to ensure he gets to play his idol.

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Fantasy Camp - Part 2

100%
September 28, 200423m
5x2

Michael can't focus on much else after learning that he'll be going to sports legend Michael Jordan's fantasy basketball camp in Las Vegas. Everyone shares his excitement – but for different reasons – and finds some reason as to why they should tag along. Once there, Michael learns that there's been a mix-up with the game schedule, so he resorts to some inventive ploys of his own to ensure he gets to play his idol.

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Childcare Class

100%
October 5, 200423m
5x3

Michael fails a child-care course for grandparents, so Vanessa and Jr. refuse to let him baby-sit his grandchild.

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Class Reunion

100%
October 12, 200423m
5x4

Michael is reluctant to attend his high-school reunion until a former rival challenges him to a dance-off.

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The Fellowship of the Baby

100%
October 19, 200423m
5x5

When an overwhelmed Jr. thinks he is not smart enough to take care of his own son, Michael tells Jr. that ""Jr., Jr."" is a ""magic baby,"" and that every time he holds him, it will make Jr. smarter. The ploy works, but in the process Jr. becomes somewhat arrogant with his new-found knowledge, so Michael brings Franklin in so that the two geniuses can match wits. Meanwhile, Kady catches Claire sneaking back into her bedroom after hours and threatens to tell their parents, unless Claire does some favors for her.

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Poker Face

100%
November 9, 200423m
5x6

Michael advises Jr. that it's ok to spend some time away from Vanessa and the baby, but his advice misfires when Jr. invites Jay along to their all-male poker game. Michael decides, in turn, to crash Jay's all-female book club, where they're discussing the latest book by Angeline Boudreaux.

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The Proposal

100%
November 16, 200423m
5x7

Jr. is finally ready to propose to Vanessa, but every time he tries to do so, something interrupts him, including Michael and Jay -- who are preparing to compete against each other in a karaoke competition.

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Restaurant Wars

100%
November 23, 200423m
5x8

At first, Michael is skeptical that Jay can be successful at opening her own soul food restaurant. But his competitive and supportive sides emerge when the Hoos, the owners of the Chinese restaurant across the street, use sneaky tactics to put ""Jay's Soooooouuuul Kitchen"" out of business.

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The Return of Bobby Shaw

100%
November 30, 200423m
5x9

Micheal's enemy, Bobby Shaw tricks Jr. into signing a contract making Jr. his slave. When Micheal tries to get him out of the contract,they end up in a dance off.

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The Wedding

100%
January 11, 200523m
5x10

Jr. and Vanessa announce that they want to get married in two weeks, Vanessa having told Jr. that she wants a small, simple wedding. Michael and Jay offer to help plan it, but instead of something simple and sweet, they plan an elaborate and expensive ceremony that includes dolphins, a castle and 751 guests. Frustrated, Vanessa tells Jr. he needs to regain control of things, forcing him to decide whether he should stand up to Michael.

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Careful What You Wish For

100%
January 18, 200523m
5x11

When Jay wishes that Michael would give her the kind of romantic attention that she sees newlywed Vanessa getting from Jr., Michael decides to kill Jay with kindness so he can get back to watching TV and ignoring her. Meanwhile, Franklin tells Kady that he thinks he's too short and goes to great lengths to appear otherwise.

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They Call Me El Foosay

100%
January 25, 200523m
5x12

When Vanessa innocently buys Jr. a foosball game, Jr. discovers his competitive nature and becomes obnoxious when he wins. When Michael challenges Jr. and wins, he initially wants to teach his son a lesson about being a good winner. But then when Michael continues to win, his ""fatherly lesson"" goes out the window and instead he becomes obsessed with playing foosball. Desperate, the Kyles have to come up with a plan to break the game's hold on Michael.

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Study Buddy

100%
February 1, 200523m
5x13

Michael feels neglected because Jay is spending all of her time studying for her psychology final. He decides to tutor her, but his efforts cause her to fail. To make it up to her, he tries to bribe her professor to let her re-take the test. Meanwhile, when Kady thinks Franklin prefers her smart friend over her, she tries to act more ""brainy.""

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Sweetheart's Day

100%
February 8, 200523m
5x14

When Jay insists that Michael buy her a present for ""Sweetheart's Day,"" a reluctant Michael comes up with a scheme to base the price of Jay's gift on her attitude towards him at a particular moment. He shares his plan with Jr., Tony and Franklin, hoping that they will follow the lead, but the only lead is straight to trouble.

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Silence is Golden

100%
February 15, 200523m
5x15

Michael reluctantly accompanies Jay on a meditation weekend, where he has trouble following the rule of silence.

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The Bahamas - Part 1

100%
February 22, 200523m
5x16

When the Kyles arrive at the Atlantis, Paradise Island resort in the Bahamas for their family vacation, Michael announces that all he wants to do is get some rest and relaxation-by himself. But no sooner does he settle into his lounge chair for some peace and quiet than his talkative and annoying golf buddy, Jimmy (David Alan Grier), shows up and insists that they spend time together. Michael is relieved to find a way out when Jay invites him to the isolated Magic Island so they can have some romantic fun. As their day winds down and it's time to leave, the boat never shows up to take them back and the couple find themselves stranded in the middle of nowhere.

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The Bahamas - Part 2

100%
March 1, 200523m
5x17

While at the Atlantis, Paradise Island resort in the Bahamas for a family vacation, lovebirds Michael and Jay find themselves stranded on the isolated Magic Island - along with a rapidly rising tide -- and the only other person there who can help them is Michael's talkative and annoying golf buddy, Jimmy (David Alan Grier) -- who refuses to do so since they weren't willing to spend time with him when they had the chance. Meanwhile, Jr. leaves Vanessa and the baby behind so he can enjoy the resort's activities; Tony and Claire hang out at the beach bar and she realizes too late that her island drink contains alcohol; and Kady and Franklin run into his nemesis, Francesco Mumfordi, who has stolen one of Franklin's theories.

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The Remodel

100%
March 8, 200523m
5x18

Realizing that the garage is no longer a suitable living situation for Jr., Vanessa and the baby, Jay insists that Michael have it remodeled. When the contractor bids are too expensive for his taste, Michael decides to take on the job himself, with Jr.'s help. But when they get in over their heads, Franklin -- who happens to be a certified contractor - has to come to their rescue.

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Michael Joins a Gym

100%
March 15, 200523m
5x19

The same day Michael realizes he can't fit into his favorite pair of vintage jeans, he runs into an old high school friend, the muscular Daryl (Terry Crews), who doesn't look any older than when Michael last saw him. He enlists Darryl's help to get him back into shape and, in the process, becomes obsessed with looking fit and buff. Meanwhile, Franklin fails his first test and fears that Kady will no longer accept him.

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Celibacy

100%
March 29, 200523m
5x20

When Jay tells Michael that their love life will be even better if they are celibate for six months, Michael is willing to abide by her wishes, although reluctantly. Meanwhile, Franklin and Kady plant some seeds in the ground to symbolize their growing love for each other, but the seeds grow into an ingredient for a love potion that Jay uses to spice up her romantic dinner for Michael.

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Jr.'s Cartoon

100%
April 12, 200523m
5x21

When Jr. wins a national competition for his cartoon entitled ""My Wife and Kid"" -- based on himself, Vanessa, the baby and the rest of the Kyle family -- it catches the attention of ABC. Michael becomes Jr.'s agent, but the meeting with the television executives goes badly, crushing Jr.'s dream opportunity, so now Michael has to find a way to rectify the situation. Meanwhile, Claire threatens to break up with Tony unless he can bring some ""umph"" into their relationship.

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Michael's Sandwich

100%
April 26, 200523m
5x22

Michael tries to leave for a golfing trip with a friend, but the family keeps distracting him.

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Graduation Day

100%
May 3, 200523m
5x23

Jay is ready to graduate from college, but a series of events ruin her appearance.

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Michael Sells the Business

100%
May 10, 200523m
5x24

Michael sells his trucking business to spend more time with Jay and Junior Junior.

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R.V. Dreams

100%
May 17, 200523m
5x25

Michael buys an R.V. and the family heads to the Grand Canyon for a vacation.

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The "V" Story

100%
Season Finale
May 17, 200523m
5x26

Jay asks Michael to get a vasectomy, but he says no. Eventually he tells Jay that he will go through with it, but then backs out at the last second. Jay says that she will instead get a hysterectomy. After she comes out of the clinic, Michael tells her that he will get the vasectomy, but she then reveals that she is pregnant.

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