After Reverend Putty teaches Orel that Jesus will one day return to the earth, he believes that his younger brother, Shapey, is the second coming of Christ. Orel's parents plan for their divorce, and Christmas looks set to be an unhappy one.

After learning that God's greatest gift is life, Orel recruits his friend Doughy to help protect that gift. A library book, a graveyard full of dead townsfolk, and Orel's convictions spell trouble for the population of Moralton.

After Orel is taught that the Christian way is to help the poor, he befriends a homeless crack dealer. The homeless man offers a gift in return, and well - it just wouldn't be polite to refuse. Good Christians aren't wasteful either, and Orel does his fair share to ensure the town's crack supply doesn't go to waste.

Orel learns that people should do everything they can to keep their wives happy. He goes around town and asks women including his mother, what they want.

Halloween is boring for Orel when he believes that he doesn't have anything to fear since God is with him at all times. Hoping to get scared, Orel decides to make God angry with him by breaking all 10 Commandments.

After getting shot in the eye with Shapey's BB gun, Orel's father tells him to be more repsonsible and mature. In order to learn more about maturity, Orel goes to the local pub and drinks alcohol which is known to him as "Maturity Juice".

Coach Stopframe goes to a meeting of a Satanic cult, taking Orel with him. However, Coach Stopframe is turned off from the cult when he sees that everyone in the meeting is overweight, wandering around in the nude, and devouring junk food refreshments.

Orel's friend, Tommy, is placed in the 'Special Retarded Education' program.