Victor Meldrew, 60 years old, is at last retiring from the rigors of his security guard job at Watson-Mycroft. Replaced by a talking machine, Victor soon discovers that retirement will give him just as many reasons to be grumpy.

As retirement throws more problems for Victor Meldrew's retirement, including a next-door neighbour's noisy party, a disturbing and puzzling rash and an atheist funeral, has Victor bitten the bullett?

After being mugged whilst photographing badgers, and having his house sprayed with the phrase 'The Man Who Lives Here Is A Turd', Victor decides to hold a crime prevention meeting.

After being stuck in the shed for over three hours, then forced to spend an entire day with his eyes closed after a visit to the optometrist, Victor cannot bear the trials of babysitting.

Although Margaret is glad that Victor finally has a hobby to occupy his time, she is less pleased to discover that it involves painting nudes.

Following a food poisoning incident, problems with the electricity man, the Meldrews embark on a well deserved holiday, however this is only the start of their problems?

When Victor and Margaret return from their holiday, they discover that their luggage has been sent to the other side of the world, and that their house has been burned down.

The Meldrews are given the responsability of looking after their god-daughter's tortoise.

Victor discovers a new talent - writing comedy. However, his views of comedy are somewhat different from everyone elses, and he finds himself without support.

While Pippa believes that Victor may have murdered an elderly blind man, Victor uses a benefit concert to re-introduce his ventriloquist act.

When the Meldrews visit some friends on the South Coast, Victor is given a surprise.

A variety of bizarre factors, including a dead hedgehog, keep Victor awake. And if Victor's awake, Margaret isn't going to get much sleep either.

Victor and Patrick's feud has continued and they now communicate via post-it notes. Pippa is expecting a baby, while Victor is keeping an allotment and buys some radioactive horse manure.

After a burglary Victor decides not to replace his television set in order to give him and Margaret more opportunity to get out of the house. However, a trip to the pub results in a disconcerting experience with an old friend.

Margaret is having a recurring dream about murdering someone who looks like Victor. However, it's Margaret who is starting to irritate Victor. That is, until she disappears.

Alfred, Victor's accident prone brother, is making his first visit from New Zealand for 25 years. Victor is not looking forward to his stay, preferring to act as a neighbourhood vigilante.

The Meldrews and Mrs Warboys get stuck in Bank Holiday traffic.

Mr Swainey has brought Victor a present back from his holiday - an unlucky charm. Victor thinks that Mrs Stebbings's tv aerial is laughing at him and his resulting misfortune. Meanwhile, Patrick and Pippa are having problems trying to sell their house.

Even a shed falling on him cannot upset Victor when he finally gets a new job. However, before starting work he must first contend with some unwanted visitors and a trip to the BBC organised by Mrs Warboys.