Alan Kirschenbaum — Writer

Episodes 13

Pilot

0%
October 2, 2000
1x1

Kim drives Greg up the wall when she worries that Sam isn't walking yet. Jimmy advises Greg that he should let Kim have the day off if he wants her to lighten up. So Greg arranges for Kim and Christine to go a day spa, giving him and Jimmy a day alone with the kids at the park. Jimmy gets hot at the park, and talks Greg into taking the kids someplace else that's cool -- a casino. Greg catches Sam on tape taking his first steps in the casino lobby, but then realizes that he can't show the video to Kim because of where it was taken. While waiting for their massages, Christine manages to talk Kim into relaxing more when she returns home. Jimmy pays a friend to digitally alter the background in the tape to a park, so Greg can show it to Kim. Kim is thrilled to watch it, until she -- and everyone else -- views Sam walking right over a pond! Greg has no choice but to come clean with Kim about what happened, causing her to unravel all over again.

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The Good Couple

0%
October 16, 2000
1x3

Jimmy sees Sam playing with an elderly couple's kid at the park, and warns Greg that parents don't pick their own friends, their kids pick them. Following Jimmy's advice, Greg spots a young, attractive couple with a kid of their own, and gets Sam to play with theirs instead. Jimmy's worst nightmare comes true when he sees Christine let Logan play with the old couple's child anyway. Greg and Kim get to go out with the young, attractive couple, John and Rebecca. Greg naturally thinks he got the better deal -- until he and Kim learn the hard way that their couple are violent lunatics prone to road rage. Jimmy is in for a surprise of his own when the old couple, David and Judy, are actually fun to be around. Kim returns to the park and befriends David and Judy in an attempt to steal them away from the Hughes. Christine is angry when she finds out that David and Judy invited all four of them over for dinner, as she doesn't want to share the good couple. At David's and Judy's house, Kim and

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You Wanna?

0%
October 23, 2000
1x4

Kim confides to Christine that she and Greg haven't been having as much sex as they were before they had Sam. Greg gets two tickets to a Lakers game and invites Jimmy. When they get stuck in a bad traffic jam on the way back from the game, Jimmy coaxes Greg into stopping by a strip club to kill some time. Worked up from the club, Greg surprises Kim with a night full of passionate sex. Kim is ecstatic at first, but then flips her lid after Christine fills her in that the reason Greg was so passionate was because he and Jimmy went to a strip club. Jimmy advises Greg that he should pull a repeat performance of the night before with Kim, so she'll know it's her that's putting him in the mood and not a bunch of naked girls. After Kim has a chance to cool down, she and Greg discuss what they should do in the future to turn each other on.

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Father-in-Law

0%
October 30, 2000
1x5

Kim's and Christine's father, Don Ludke, comes for a surprise visit. Greg feels left out as Don has never liked him -- and still doesn't. When Greg's attempts to win him over fail, Christine tells him the real reason her father doesn't like him is because he doesn't respect people who can't do things around the house. Greg changes his plans to buy a jungle gym for the kids after Don says that only an idiot would buy a pre-built jungle gym when he can build his own and save money. In an effort to impress him, Greg tries to build his own jungle gym, but it falls on top of him while he's working on it. After Greg says to Kim that he doesn't want Don in his house again, Jimmy tells him that the way to get on Don's good side is to make him feel smart without intimidating him, like he's wont to do. Following that advice, Greg extends the olive branch to Don, and asks for his help with the gym. Afterwards, he starts to have a heart-to-heart talk with Don in regards to the way he's treated, on

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Arm-prins

0%
November 27, 2000
1x9

Christine and Don convince Kim to sell her sleeve guards, which she's dubbed ""arm-prins,"" at a craft fair, while Jimmy convinces Christine to bring the kids to watch him play in a security guards' softball game. Greg is upset that he'll have to take care of Sam himself while Kim is setting up her new business, so he voices his displeasure and hurts her feelings by calling her arm-prins stupid. Jimmy feels castrated when his boss, Lloyd, benches him, and lures Christine into the game for need of a female player. Greg is forced to watch a Blue's Clues video with Sam over and over again, as it's the only thing that will keep him quiet. Soon, Greg has sat through the show so many times, he begins dreaming he's starring in it. Kim becomes dejected when the arm-prins bomb, just like Greg said they would. Greg makes it up to her by saying she's a much better housekeeper and parent than he'll ever be, and the most important job she can ever have is at home.

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Kiss and Yell

0%
February 5, 2001
1x14

While sharing stories about the first time they met, Christine learns that Kim kissed Jimmy while he and Christine were going out. As a result, Christine refuses to sleep with him that night. Greg, meanwhile, doesn't care what Kim did with Jimmy, as he claims to have kissed more than his share of girls at the time. Kim presses him into revealing what number ""more than his share"" is, and then laughs when he says it's fifty. Determined to make Kim believe him, Greg sets about making a list of the names of all fifty girls. Greg's completed list -- of merely forty-nine girls -- turns Kim around so she's no longer amused at Greg. Instead, she's disgusted with him. Jimmy is able to calm Kim down by telling her that fifty isn't a high number at all, when most guys his and Greg's age kissed five hundred girls. Greg would feel inadequate at Jimmy's machismo if he weren't already feeling inadequate over having not even made it to fifty. To spite Jimmy and even the score, Christine kisses Greg, t

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Kim Just Wants to Have Fun

0%
April 16, 2001
1x21

After getting a babysitter, Greg, Kim, Jimmy and Christine go out to a bar, The Frolic Room, for some free time. Greg tries to get Kim to go out with them again, but Kim thinks the place is too dumpy for her tastes and doesn't want to go back. Until she gets ticked off after Greg tells her she's not fun like Christine, that is. So Kim goes to Jimmy and asks him how to be fun. Jimmy takes her back to the bar and helps her loosen up around other people -- particularly Greg.

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Halloween

0%
October 29, 2001
2x6

On Halloween night, Greg is forced to wear a silly hot dog outfit trick or treating because that's what Sam (the kitty) pointed at when Kim (the genie) took him shopping for costumes. After Jimmy tells him to leave some candy out for the kids, Greg worries his house will get trashed while they're gone. Sam gets tricked when a seemingly sweet old lady says she'll go get him some candy -- which is the cue for her son to jump out of the bushes in a wolfman costume and scare the kids. Sam starts crying and has to be rushed home, and a furious Greg plots revenge. Christine and Jimmy think they should trash the guy's house, but Kim insists on fixing his wagon by writing a stern letter. Greg likes the trashing idea better, but gives in to Kim's wishes. So they both go to the house, drop off the letter, knock on the door, and hide so they can watch their reactions. After the old lady and the man read it and laugh hysterically, Greg and Kim return home, ready to do things the Hughes way. Greg a

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Johnny Ampleseed

0%
March 25, 2002
2x18

Greg's old high-school girlfriend, Stacey, is in town. Greg invites her and her husband, Bobby, over to visit so he can see her again. Looking at pictures of Sam, Dominic and Logan gets Stacey and Bobby to admit that they've been trying to have children of their own -- which hasn't been going all that well since Bobby has ""slow swimmers."" Stacey says they came to LA because it has the best fertility experts. When Greg tells her he's there for them if they need anything, she takes his offer a little too literally, and asks for his sperm. Kim is enraged when Greg says he'll think about it, and actually meant it. After Jimmy gloats how Christine would let him do it, Kim talks with her, and learns that she was lying so as not to start a fight. She also believes Greg wouldn't do it in a million years. So Kim pulls the same act with him, and is relieved that he isn't doing it. Greg lets Stacey and Bobby down easy, but both he and Jimmy are stunned when they turn right around and ask Jimmy fo

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The Ring

0%
April 22, 2002
2x21

While going over their homeowners' insurance, Greg lets Kim fetch the appraisal on her engagement ring, figuring she'll be thoroughly impressed with him when she finds out once and for all where he got it and what he paid for it. She is. And then she's thoroughly disgusted with him when she finds out when he got it -- two years before he met her. Greg admits that he bought the ring for another woman, but never proposed to her because he caught her getting it on with his roommate. His explanation falls on deaf ears, and Kim gives the ring, which she now considers tainted, back to him. To make amends, Greg surprises Kim with a brand-new replacement engagement ring. Or rather, a brand-new carbon copy of her original engagement ring -- which an insulted Kim also gives back, because it reminds her just as much of the other woman as the first one did. After a third failed attempt to pass the same ring off to her, Greg goes and gets her a different ring he personally designed himself. But her

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We're Having a Baby

0%
November 25, 2002
3x10

When Kim and Greg decide to go on TLC's A Baby Story, they run into major problems with their parents. For example, when Kim and Greg announce that they want to name the baby Charlie if it's a boy and Lucy if it's a girl, everyone calls out with their own picks for a girl. Kim's dad wants the baby to be named Rachel, and Greg's mom wants the baby to be named Margaret if it's a girl. The baby indeed turns out to be a girl, and as Kim and Greg are about to pick the baby up from the nursery, they hear Greg's dad stating that he wished that his own daughter were named Emily after his aunt who practically raised him. After overhearing this, Kim and Greg decide to name the baby Emily.

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When Jimmy Met Greggy

0%
Season Finale
May 19, 2003
3x24

When Greg tells Jimmy he never does anything for him, Jimmy shares with him a story back in ye olden days -- the 1980s -- when Jimmy, Billy and their friend, Brian, were just a trio of pizza delivery boys with bad hair, and Christine was a lowly waitress at Howard Johnson's. Jimmy flips his lid when Christine lets him know that Kim is coming by with her new boyfriend, as this is going to crush Brian, whom Kim used to be dating before college -- especially since Greg, said new boyfriend, will be staying on Jimmy's couch and mooching off him. When Jimmy meets Greg for the first time, he wonders what on earth Kim sees in him. Tough guy Brian comes over uninvited, and begs Kim to take him back. After she asks him to leave, he plans to beat Greg up, but Jimmy gets him to hold off on his plan of action by saying he'll get rid of the new boyfriend in his own way. So Jimmy takes Greg to a diner, where he learns that Kim is his first, and tries unsuccessfully to scare him off by lying to him ab

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Greg Needs a Friend

0%
January 12, 2004
4x13

Kim, Jimmy and Christine all take it upon themselves to help Greg find a friend when he needs someone to go to a jazz festival with him.

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