Knob Haven High School is in financial trouble, and Acting Principal Sue Sezno must win the upcoming football game to gain alumni donations or face firing a faculty member. Meanwhile, a scandal erupts when pills confiscated from a student’s locker becomes a part of Vice Principal Stuart Proszakian’s daily diet.

Vice Principal Prozackian is put in charge of the student newspaper, and runs a report that reveals that Miracle never graduated from high school. Meanwhile, Ennis gets stuck in the windshield of Principal Sezno's car and believes he's a half-man, half-machine superhero named "Sedanimal".