Birthdays have ever been easy for Simon, especially when the whole school finds out what he really really wants. Meanwhile, Ashlene meets a flasher and Aunty Hayley feels loved and a whole lot more.

It's 1998, and Ground Force is at its height and Simon feels a desperate need for a water feature. Meanwhile, the women of Melody Crescent feel a desperate need to 'sloshercise' with hunky training instructor Tiger. Elaine Paige makes a stunning appearance in Simon's imagination. Warning: contains showtunes.