Sarah becomes an adviser to a local beauty-pageant contestant. She encourages a young girl to enter the pageant in order to fulfill her own childhood dreams. Meanwhile, Steve's behavior in a police car result in unforeseen consequences.

Sarah tries to explore her own sexuality. Meanwhile Brain and Steve bicker over a soft drink.

Sarah searches for AA batteries so that she can use her remote to turn off a television benefit for needy children. While on her search, Sarah loses a farting contest and has a sexual encounter with God.

When their mother's grave is vandalized, Sarah and Laura become contestants on their favorite TV show in hopes of winning enough money to replace the tombstone.

Sarah discovers her Russian ancestors were raped by Mongolians. Steve's homemade short films get him some popularity with a demographic he'd never thought possible.

Sarah sues "Home Alone", the movie, for influencing her to accidentally murder her new neighbor. Her eloquent case about the dangerous influence of entertainment leads her to the position of official censor of Valley Village television. Brian seeks revenge on a bird who repeatedly poos on his head.