Rusty falls for the daughter of the town's wealthiest family, but their first date results in a bar brawl involving half the town. Dave decides to smooth things over by holding a formal military ball, and John provides a crash course in social graces to prepare Rusty and the troops for their big night.

It's time for the annual war games against Fort Arnold, and Colonel Henchy threatens to start training the men every morning at dawn if they don't win this year. When Lana gambles away Eddie, their secret weapon, in a poker game, Dave, John and Rusty resort to desperate measures to win him back and insure their victory.

When Ozzie gets stuck with a lemon of used car, Colonel Henchy gives an unofficial order for Dave and Lieutenant Handy to team up and avenge every soldier who has been ripped off by a fast talking shyster. While Dave schemes to lure the crook with a car that's too good of a deal to pass up--the Colonel's classic Chassis--John leads the battalion charges with keeping Henchy well diverted.

When a misfired rocket is mistaken for a U.F.O., Dave and John seize upon the opportunity to make money off of the curious townspeople, but Rusty's acting debut as an extraterrestrial gets him more attention than he bargained for. Meanwhile, Lieutenant Handy's super-secret mission to recover the rocket backfires.

An Army recruiting trip to the local college leaves the guys in a school daze. Dave and Rusty pursue future dates rather than soldiers; Eddie signs up for a college class with a eye towards meeting co-eds; and John is hailed as the second coming when he pledges a fraternity. Back at the base, a love-struck Eddie risks a court martial when he leads a group of campus demonstrators protesting the Army's careless polluting of the Bendix swamp who chain themselves to Colonel Henchy's desk.

When Dave discovers that John has a huge trust fund just waiting to be spent, Dave launches a campaign to convince John's father that his son is ready to handle the responsibility of wealth. Meanwhile, Colonel Henchy, furious that Ft. Bendix ranks near the bottom of all bases in the U.S. in efficiency, puts Lt. Handy on the warpath to streamline operations and with the help of Eddie's new scheme to align all motion with the Earth's rotation, things certainly start moving.

Missing equipment may cause problems for Dave when he learns that a tough Pentagon general is coming for a inventory inspection.