Hancock goes on a cruise but quickly becomes fed up when the only woman interested in him is large and over-amorous. However, when he becomes convinced that the ship is sinking he soon has other things on his mind. But how to convince the Captain...

Hancock decides that he will emigrate, but no-one will take him. Knowing Sid's past he asks for his assistance, but the 'luxury cruise liner' Sid arranges has a very short gang plank and a very unusual crew!

Hancock has had no success with the ladies so he decides to enrol in a charm school course, and he dreams about the outcome. But when he leaves the school the reality is a little different!

It's the centenary of the Borough of East Cheam and Hancock has arranged for the BBC to have exclusive TV rights to the celebratory procession. Unfortunately, the Mayor has sold exclusive rights to ITV and the route of the procession doesn't go past Hancock's house where the BBC have set up. Hancock is forced to take drastic steps and provide his own procession at short notice!

Hancock plays the part of Old Joshua Merryweather in the radio show The Bowmans (which sounds rather similar to The Archers). But his behaviour and the number of different dialects that he uses causes him to be thrown off the show. However public opinion demands his return - but he in turn demands a few changes!