Dave is offended when Willie's kindergarten teacher suggests that Willie be held back a year.

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The Barrys and friends take a ride down memory lane as Dave debates whether to sell his 1965 Mustang; Tommy and Willie scheme to augment their allowance.

A convention-bound Shel reluctantly entrusts his beloved luxury car to Dave -- who is then held responsible for the good doctor's unpaid parking tickets.

Is truth stranger than fiction? Dave's about to find out when Tommy takes issue with his father's first major work, a serio-comic memoir about Dave's wild and crazy youth.

An enigmatic answering machine message from a lovelorn sailor sends Beth scurrying to find the man and reunite him with his girl; Dave hunts his stolen laptop, which contains several of his columns.

When Kenny becomes a victim of ""corporate downsizing,"" Dave tries to get his friend's job back by talking to the boss, who tells him the real reason Kenny was let go.

The IRS informs Dave and Beth that their marriage isn't legally valid, an occasion that calls for a visit to the hippie ""minister"" who married them -- but who never filed their marriage license.

Stressed-out Dave sees an alligator in the backyard.

Teacher Beth regrets lecturing to her loved ones when her advice sends Duke weightlifting, Shel and Mia skydiving, and promps Kenny to turn down a great job opportunity.

Dave enjoys, then soon tires of, his 15 minutes of fame after a new publicity campaign for his column finds his face plastered on billboards all over Miami.

Dave abandons the long-standing Barry tradition of not celebrating Valentine's Day when he decides to purchase a romantic -- and costly -- gift.

Shel frets when his girlfriend bonds with Beth.

Dave finds he's alienated both his friends after he wins an award that Shel coveted, then decides to make his own recording of his book rather than let Kenny do it.

Mia's new obsession with astrology has Eric wishing she'd be more down-to-earth; Kenny turns snoop to discover wh at plastic surgery Shel performed on his new girlfriend; and Tommy confesses a minor crime to Willie.

Pediatrician Celia's skill in the ER -- performing emergency surgery on a little girl injured in a bicycle accident -- makes plastic surgeon Shel feel useless as a doctor, so he decides to make some changes in his personal and professional life. He starts by proposing to Celia.

With Beth and the boys away for the weekend, Dave savors the time alone to do as he pleases -- if only he can get his friends to stop trying to keep him company. Dave's weekend is filled with all the things dearest to his heart: naps, television, beer, pretzels and not bathing. However, Mia and Eric want his expertise on where they should honeymoon, while Shel and Kenny are certain that all this time alone isn't good for Dave. Meanwhile, Beth learns that she is the last to know that Tommy has discovered girls in the form of the beautiful Angela when she chaperones his class on a field trip to see a space shuttle launch.

""Is it me, or did people used to be nicer to each other?"" Dave wonders, after Beth's insulted on the road and Shel has several run-ins with an obnoxious waiter who's out to get him.

When Dave, Shel and Kenny are sentenced to do community service at the beach as a result of the fight at Eric's bachelor party, a Cuban refugee drags himself out of the water and the boys must decide what to do with him. Dave takes the refugee, Juan, home with him and tries to introduce him to the Dave Barry version of what it means to be an American: lots of naps, snacks and television. Juan's desire to work hard and become a citizen gets Dave thinking about his grandparents and what life was like for them when they came to the United States from Ireland. Meanwhile, Eric isn't sure he wants to give Juan a job, especially in light of Mia's enthusiastic reaction to the refugee's good looks.

When Dave meets an attractive female fan who invites him back to her apartment to ""talk about writing,"" Shel and Kenny are certain that Dave will be seduced if he goes. While Dave, Shel and Kenny are out of town visiting friends, Dave sees the beautiful Lisa reading his book. After introducing himself, he is overwhelmed by her enthusiastic praise and her excitement at meeting him. Before he knows it, she has given him her address and they have a date to meet at her home that night. Even though he later thinks better of it, Dave doesn't want to stand her up, as Kenny and Shel advise. Meanwhile, Beth is home dealing with a house badly in need of repair and a determination to show Dave that she is just as capable of dealing with contractors as he is.

Dave writes a scathing column criticizing Tommy's teacher for staging a drastically rewritten politically correct version of Moby Dick; Shel and Kenny are dubious about taking Eric to an exclusive nightclub.

After Shel displays the new edition of Playboy in which the centerfold confesses that one of her lifelong ambitions is to meet Dave, the meeting is arranged but doesn't turn out exactly the way Dave and the guys envisioned it. Entertainment Tonight reporter Mark Steines guest stars as himself, covering the meeting between the Playmate and Dave. Dave's growing-by-the-minute ego is deflated, however, when, upon meeting the Playmate, he realizes that she is passionate about his writing not about him and that she views him as a father figure. Meanwhile, Shel, Kenny and Eric trip all over themselves trying to impress her.

Mel, Dave's aggressive new agent, has the Barry household spinning both physically and mentally when she sends Dave into New York for a PR tour and lands Willie a television commercial much to Beth's chagrin. Bea Arthur plays Mel Bloom, the new agent, in the second of three guest-starring appearances. Talk show host Roy Firestone appears as himself, as does singer Pat Boone, who has recently released a new heavy metal CD, In a Metal Mood: No More Mr. Nice Guy. In the green room prior to his appearance on the Roy Firestone talk show, Dave is anxious and nervous and decides to try joke material out on fellow guest Pat Boone. The situation becomes even more nerve-racking when Pat, who goes on the air first, then aces Dave by using the jokes. Meanwhile, Beth, who was reluctant to have Willie do the commercial, becomes angry with Mel when it backfires.

A call from an old college classmate whom Dave despised reveals a long-hidden truth about Dave and Beth's dating history. When Dave, Beth, Kenny and Shel engage in their usual game of poker, the art of bluffing becomes more personal than usual. During the course of the poker game, Dave discovers that Beth, Kenny and Shel have been sharing a secret since their college days about a past fling Beth had with an old college flame. Feeling slightly betrayed, Dave ends up pulling off the ultimate bluff.

Shel has a hard time 'fessing up to his visiting high-maintenance daughter Carly that most of his money is gone. Instead of telling his daughter the truth, Shel tries to hide his financial situation from her by buying her a new wardrobe and a new car and renting a beach house. Meanwhile, Eric ""adjusts"" Beth's neck, which results in her becoming bedridden, and Kenny decides to get a dog, since they are such ""babe magnets,"" and ends up stuck in his apartment when his new canine, ""Bunny,"" turns out to be an attack dog.

After Eric accidentally sells Beth's wedding dress during their garage sale, Dave thinks Beth is upset for sentimental reasons, but the truth is she had $300 hidden in the dress. No matter how Beth tries to explain, Dave still doesn't understand why his wife has a secret slush fund. Meanwhile, Dave confesses to Mia that her high school idol, erotic romance novelist Letitia DeVore, is actually a pseudonym -- for Dave Barry.

Dave and Beth investigate the reason the FBI wants to speak with them, but it turns out they're looking for information on Shel; Mia courts a job with the NBA's Miami Heat.

When a giant sinkhole threatens to destroy the Barry house, the entire family evacuates to Shel's. Forced to flee on a moment's notice, Dave and Beth must choose what is most important to them. Meanwhile, Shel the consummate bachelor tries to make his pad more family friendly.