Aunt Dahlia sends Bertie to sneer at an 18th century cow creamer in order to reduce the price for Uncle Tom. But when he makes a mess of the job rival silver collector Sir Watkin Bassett gets ahold of it. So Bertie goes off to Totleigh Towers where everyone either wants Bertie to steal the cow-creamer, or threatens to beat him to a jelly if he does. Stiffy Byng, Stinker Pinker, and Aunt Dahlia being of the former category, and the Amateur Dictator Roderick Spode and Sir Watkin Bassett being of the latter.

In order to help overcome his fear of Roderick Spode and Sir Watkin Bassett, Gussie Fink-Nottle writes down a notebook full of scornful thoughts about each of them. When he misplaces the notebook it falls into all the wrong peoples' hands, and desirable engagements are broken and undesirable ones formed like never before.

Bertie is called to Westcombe-on-Sea by Aunt Agatha, delaying a vacation in the south of France. There he meets a girl by the name of Aline Hemmingway whom she wishes him to marry. She and her brother leave pearls as security for a hundred pound loan from Bertie. But when both the Hemmingways' pearls and Aunt Agatha's pearls disappear, trouble arises.

Meanwhile, Bertie runs into Biffy Biffen, who has lost his fiancé in the most remarkable manner. Unfortunately, he is unable to remember her last name - in fact he is unable to remember almost anything.

When Bertie takes up the trombone, he moves to the country due to complaints from other tennants. The combination of these two evens cause Jeeves to give his notice, who is immediately snapped up by Chuffy Chuffnell who owns the villiage to which Bertie has moved. He also owns Chuffnell Hall, but wishes to sell it to the American, Stoker, so that he can afford to marry said American's daughter, Pauline, to whom Bertie was once engaged himself.

This one is rather complicated. After being turned down for the nomination of chairman of the dining commitee at the Drones, Bertie runs into Pauline Stoker, who is in London to buy her wedding dress and is being followed by a strange fellow with a ginger beard. She asks Bertie to come be a body guard. Meanwhile, her father is unable to turn Chuffnell Hall into a Hotel, so he looks into turning it into a sanitarium run by none other than Sir Roderick Glossop. The combination of Stokers, Glossops, and Chuffnells is bad news for Bertie's image, and his only hope is... the boys from the Drones dressed up as Minstrels?

Bertie begins to think that having a child might be nice. Of course the first step, Jeeves reminds him, is getting married. Once again thoughts turn towards Bobbie Wickham.

Meanwhile, fellow Drones are in love: Tuppy with a dog-lover in the country (and not with Cousin Angela as he should be), and Bingo (as usual) with a waitress named Mabel. Ensuing events involve a rather nasty rugby match, tossing pots through greenhouses, public speaking in front of young ladies, and plans to soften Bingo's Uncle to the thought of his nephew marrying someone in a lower social strata.

Back in New York, Bertie comissions the artist with whom he's fallen in love to paint a portrait of Aunt Agatha, and Tuppy's there trying to sell his recipe for Cock-A-Leekie soup to Slingsby of Slingsby's Soups. When there's a car accident involving the nasty Lucious Pim, and Claude and Eustace show up, things become of the sort in which one finds Jeeves' intervention invaluable.

Bertie spends much time putting the old Wooster brain to use in devising schemes to arrange the meeting of two tycoons. However, A more immediate concern is Stilton Cheesewright and Lady Florence Craye, both of whom hold vastly differing yet equally unpleasant opinions of Bertie - the former takes offense at his drinking and time spent with the later, while Florence thinks that he has possibilities. The final scene involving Abraham Lincoln climbing up the spire of the Empire State Building, amongst other things.

Bingo's in love with another waitress, and the old Rosie M. Banks gag comes up again, this time with an unfortunate twist. Unfortunately New York does not seem to be the haven it once was, and the Glossops are in town looking to marry off Honoria. Luckily, Blaire Egleston is in love with her and Bertie has just the plan to push him to propose. But he may have pushed too hard.

Once more, Stilton Cheesewright and Lady Florence Craye loom large on the horizon, with differing opinions this time, not only with regard to Bertram Wooster, but his moustache as well. While Stilton works out in how many places he will break Bertie's spine, and how he's going to do it without altering the Wooster dart skills (for he's drawn his name for the annual Drones Darts Tournament) Jeeves must help Aunt Dahlia with her pearl-troubles, Percy Gorringe with his love troubles, and Bertie with his upper-lip troubles.

Certain members of the household believe there is a curse held over Totleigh Towers by a small African totem. So Bertie gets involved in another retrieval project while the Gussie-Madeline romance has developed it's final difficulties.

The Ganymede Club book has turned up missing, and Jeeves must return it at all costs. Madeline Bassett's wedding doesn't proceed as smoothly as planned.