The Solomons are relieved when Vicki's baby turns out to be human, but horrified when she announces her plans to sell her story to the papers. When a reporter comes sniffing around, Sally gives Dick the title of Security Officer and orders him to kill him; however he can't, so she makes him High Commander and herself Security Officer so that she can kill the reporter herself. Dick then reminds Sally that he is now the High Commander, and that there is nothing she can do to reverse it.

When a drunk Mary tells Dick she once had a fling with his archenemy Vincent Strudwick, he is outraged and decides to get even with the pair of them by convincing Strudwick's wife to sleep with him. Tommy supports Dick's decision, imagining double dates - himself with Alissa and Dick with Strudwick's wife. Meanwhile, Sally gets the hots for Don after he starts riding a police motorbike, but the pair crash and Don ends up in full body plaster.

Dick crashes the car into a tree and calls an insurance company to cover it, but the salesman informs him that in order to be covered, he needed to have taken out insurance before the crash. Instead, the salesman manages to convince Harry to buy insurance, but then ignores all of Harry's attempts to call him. Dick, meanwhile, is pleasantly surprised when he discovers just how much more advanced his rental car is than the old Rambler, and so sells the latter for scrap; however, the Solomons soon begin to miss it.

Mary invites the Solomons on a murder mystery weekend, thinking that it might prove a fun activity. However, she goes down with food poisoning and retreats upstairs to her room. Downstairs, meanwhile, the Solomons are horrified when the first murder takes place, believing it to be real and, annoyed at the apparent lackadaisical efforts of Scotland Yard detective "Inspector McAffrey", they decide to try to solve the mystery themselves.

When Mary and Nina talk about how good looking Harrison Ford is, Dick decides that he himself is hideous and visits a plastic surgeon to discuss having his face surgically altered. However, when the surgeon tells Sally that she might benefit from having some plastic surgery herself, she becomes paranoid and believes herself not to be good enough for Don. Harry, meanwhile, is chuffed when the surgeon tells him that his face is perfect.

Dick is confused when Nina won't let him accompany her to her Black Student Union meeting, believing it to be a Weight Watchers type club; so, in an attempt to understand the concept, he mistakenly takes the Solomons to a racist white power rally. Dick realizes that the rally was a bad idea, and tries to make it up to Nina by firing her, to release her from what he calls her 'servile role' (as he and Mary's assistant), but she informs him that she is happy in her job. Meanwhile, Sally, Harry and Tommy are preparing to take part in a poetry competition and decide to use racism as their subject.

At a charity auction for the Rutherford Boys Home, Dick wants everybody to applaud him and so starts a bidding war with Studwick for a painting and ends up paying seventeen hundred dollars for it. Meanwhile, Don complains when Sally's snoring keeps him up all night, so she decides to try to stay awake all night so that he can sleep, but ends up keeping him awake anyway. Back at home, Harry and Tommy have been given the job of devising a new mission statement, and so try to work out what their purpose is on Earth.

Mary reveals to Dick that she has been observing his family for a number of years and that she would like to make a documentary about them, in order to show how the 'typical American family' has changed. Unfortunately, Mary's film soon begins to create tension among the family and accusations that Dick is an abusive father, Tommy is a bed-wetter and Sally is secretly a lesbian start flying around, so Harry decides to become an alcoholic so as not to be left out.