Ned erklärt in der ersten Folge, was man tun muss, um den ersten Tag auf einer neuen Schule heil zu überstehen. Sein Freund Cookie macht gleich zu Anfang einen bösen Fehler und taucht in einer Daunenjacke auf, die die älteren Schüler einfach nur lächerlich finden. Moze würde gerne eine beste Freundin finden und versucht sich deshalb von den Jungs abzusetzen. Doch egal, in welchen Kurs sie sich einschreibt, Ned und Cookie bleiben ihr auf den Fersen. Bis Moze zu einem Trick greift…

Ned und Cookie haben ein echtes Toiletten-Trauma: Niemals kämen sie auf die Idee, ein Schul-WC zu benutzen, wo man öfters von älteren Schülern in die Mangel genommen wird. Stattdessen gehen sie morgens zu Hause aufs Klo und verkneifen sich in der Schule alles Weitere. Als Cookie eines Morgens den obligatorischen Toilettengang vergisst, gerät er in arge Bedrängnis. Kurz bevor seine Blase platzt, rennt er blindlings aufs nächste WC – leider handelt es sich um die Mädchentoilette. Ob seine Freunde ihm helfen können, ungesehen wieder rauszukommen?

Cookie hat sich und seinen Freunden einige Stunden Nachsitzen eingebrockt. Aus Angst vor den Achtklässlern, denen sie dabei begegnen werden, erzählt Cookie überall in der Schule herum, er habe sich mit dem gefürchteten Physiklehrer Mr. Sweeney angelegt. Tatsächlich avanciert Cookie mit seinem Lügenmärchen zum Held der Schule. Nur die furchtbaren Achtklässler beeindruckt das wenig – und das lassen sie Cookie beim Nachsitzen deutlich spüren…

Ned erklärt heute die Vor- und Nachteile der Sitzplätze in der Schule und wie man die Sitzordnung am besten beeinflussen kann. Wenn man im Klassenzimmer weit hinten sitzt, hat man zwar mehr Spaß, aber man bekommt nicht wirklich viel vom Unterricht mit. Zu den besonderen Sitzgelegenheiten zählt auch der ‚coole‘ Tisch in der Cafeteria. Cookie und Ned müssen sich einiges einfallen lassen, um hier auch einmal Platz nehmen zu dürfen. Zum Schluss geht es in die berühmt-berüchtigte letzte Reihe im Schulbus. Hier kann man eine Menge Spaß haben – besonders, wenn man wie Gordy und Cookie den höchsten Sitz-Hopser der Geschichte plant…

In dieser Episode erläutert Ned, was es zu beachten gilt, wenn man für jemanden schwärmt – ein nicht immer erquicklicher Zustand, vor dem aber kein Schüler sicher ist. Dabei kommt es vor allem darauf an, die verschiedenen Typen von Schwärmereien zu unterscheiden. Cookie zum Beispiel ist ins internationale Topmodel Martika verschossen. Klar, dass er da keine Chance hat! Die Dame spielt schließlich in einer ganz anderen Liga. Moze dagegen hätte durchaus Chancen bei Kokosnusskopf, der ihr Rosen schenken will und sie dafür durch die ganze Schule verfolgt. Zu dumm, dass Moze von ihm nichts wissen will. Sagen mag sie ihm das aber auch nicht, um seine Gefühle nicht zu verletzen. Auch Ned hat so seine Schwierigkeiten: Er schwärmt für Suzy Crabgrass, aber wenn er mit ihr spricht, bekommt er einfach keinen vollständigen Satz heraus…

Sick Days: Ned must stay healthy when the flu hits Polk Middle School and he finds out Matt Hoffman is coming to visit. Cookie tries to keep his perfect attendance record in tact with help from Lisa. Moze tries to get sick and miss her speech in Social Studies. Not succeding, Moze must make her speech but finds out it is easier than she thought.

Spelling Bee: Cookie is the only one with a chance to beat the dreaded Killer Bees. With an easy spell at the spelling bee, will it be Ned who beats the Killer Bees? Moze copes with sitting by Mr. Gross after spelling a word wrong.

Rumors: Rumors terrorize the group; a rumor spreads that Ned and Moze are dating, and Cookie and Gordy fight against Mr. Sweeney to see if a rumored "atomic flush" is true, and Ned develops a plan for it.

Photo Day: It's Photo Day at James Polk. Ned gives Moze a crash course on how to take a good picture, and Cookie holds auditions for someone to take his picture for him.

School Elections: Ned doesn't want to run for class president because it's a popularity contest. Moze and Cookie think he'd be great. Ned tries to drop out by vandalizing, starting food fights, and that. It comes down to the undecided vote, Coconut Head! Now its a mission to find out who he will vote for.

Talent Show: Ned and Cookie create "Talentpalooza" when kids are excluded from the school talent show. Moze must decide which of her many talents would be good for the show. Cookie gets people out of the regular talent show and into "Talentpalooza" which gets the principal mad.

Computer Lab: Ned and Moze are banned from the computer lab. Cookie learns about life away from technology thanks to Lisa Zemo. Ned and Moze disguise themselves to get back in the lab.

Backpack: Ned needs a new backpack after his breaks so he goes to Backpack Boy for help. Moze loses her backpack so she needs to find it before somebody reads her personal diary. Cookie creates the "bodypack" so he doesn't need a backpack, but it backfires on him due to Loomer.

Notes: Bitsy has Ned pass a note and Sweeney catches him, now he must pay. He has to write an essay along with everyone else so they plot revenge. Cookie finds joy in forging notes, but danger comes when he leads the teachers to the forgers "domain".

Best Friends: Moze continues her search for a new best friend with a quiz and whoever matches up closely is meant for her. But Moze ends up joining the Huge Crew. The Killer Bees recruit Cookie which puts Ned and Cookie's friendship to the test. Ned tries to find a new best friend in place of Cookie.

Daydreams: Ned daydreams in Science class. Sweeney challenges the class to answer a riddle before they can go to lunch. Fairly Odd Parents lend Ned a hand, along with super agent Moze and Tech Wizard Cookie.

Gym: Moze and Ned spar in martial arts and Ned gets thrown for a loop. So now Ned practices to beat Moze, after being humiliated by being beaten by a girl. Cookie must pass Derga's gym requirements so he does Seth's homework in return for Seth to do Cookie's laps for him.

Cheaters: Ned must decide if he's going to cheat on a test. Bitsy keeps copying Moze's work so Moze develops a plan to get Bitsy in trouble. Cookie develops a system for studying and is accused of cheating which leads him to take his test without any tools, proving a point to the teacher.

Bullies: Loomer is looking for Ned and Cookie, they decide to make a stand. Moze and Claire start Peer Mediation to help with problems at school The only problem is that they cannot find a teacher worthy of leading Peer Mediation. But when they find him, it is too late to stop Ned and Lumer's fight?

Emergency Drills:Every time Ned wants to ask Suzie to Chandra Taylor's party an emergency drill distracts him. Eventually, Ned gets to ask Suzie and she accepts. The only problem is Ned can't go to the party because he, Cookie, and Moze are trapped in Gordy's extra supply locker.

Late Bus: When bus number 9 breaks down, all the kids are stuck waiting for another bus. Loomer makes a deal with Ned that he won't bully him for an entire year if Ned helps him get Moze's attention. Meanwhile, Cookie is leading a "Cookie's Late Bus After School Tour" in which he shows kids what teachers do after hours. We see Coach Dirga crying over a soap opera, and the worst possible thing ever, a teacher rap group taught by Lil' Romeo. Also, Moze makes friends with another Jennifer, but finds out it's her last day. And what we have seen, this may lead to a friendship between Moze and Suzie Crabgrass.

New Semester: Ned seeks his first kiss from Suzie Crabgrass which is on his "new semester list", but first he enlists Moze's help to break up Suzie and Loomer. By breaking them up Ned would have Suzie. Meanwhile, Cookie starts the new semester with a new super cool look and becomes a bully.

Electives: Ned, Moze and Cookie try out different electives so they can finally get a class together and score an easy "A."

Pep Rallies: Ned becomes school mascot Wolfie, so he can miss class. Moze struggles to give a peppy speech and Cookie tries to spice it up with his own Super Cookie halftime stunt! Together they realize the true meaning of pep rallies isn't about cheerleaders and jocks, but it can be about getting you in spirit with normal people.

Lunch: Ned tries to stop "One Bite" who's taking is lunch and eating it in "one bite." After devising a plan with hot sauce, Ned is sure "One Bite" won't steal his lunch anymore. Moze wonders why Suzie doesn't want to sit with her at lunch. Moze tries everything she can possibly think of, yet none of it works. Cookie panics after lunch lady predicts doom.

Video Projects - Ned and Cookie team up to make the ultimate video project. But the ultimate video project is easier said, than done. Moze makes a documentary about Mr. Wright, who's acting way too cool and not himself.

School Clubs - Ned tries to stop Missy's Popular Club. Ned feels it is taking over the school and that Missy thinks everybody is a nerd. Moze and Suzie compete in every single club to be the best but it backfires and they get kicked out. So they have only one club left to choose from. Which club will they join? Cookie starts his own club, the Archaeology Club which helps Ned get into Missy's club and bring him all around the school.

Notebooks: Ned and Gordy caper to swipe Sweeney's "Golden Notebook." Moze finds a notebook full of juicy school rumors and Cookie invents the video notebook.

Math: Ned starts a math study group with the smartest kids in class, but they soon realize that Ned isn't doing any work. Moze is faced with the challenge of pre-algebra and Cookie is promoted to 8th grade honors math, but his teacher is crazy.

A series of school property destruction incidents leads to the introduction of Vice Principal Crubbs, who suspects Ned, Moze and Cookie. So, the three take the investigation into their own hands, CSI-style.

Ned and Moze try to come up with ideas to beat the Monday morning blues; Cookie must help Gordy stay awake on Monday.

Your Body: Moze freaks when she feels she is too tall. After crushing somebody's project, she really wants to become short. Ned tries to become strong after Coach agreed to Loomer that they'd have a weight lifting competition. Cookie tries to become overprotective so Loomer won't hurt him.

Procrastination: Moze bets Ned that he won't finish his project on time and the loser has to stand in front of the school as a clown. Cookie creates a machine that will stop his procrastination problems. Moze also needs to learn to clog dance.

School Websites: Ned, Moze and Cookie make changes to the school website.

Valentine’s Day: Ned sends Suzie a rose. Cookie sends himself multiple rose to try to be the hottest kid in school, and Moze becomes the hottest girl in school.

Nicknames: Ned tries to create a new, cool nickname for himself by doing wild stunts but ends up injuring himself in the end, while Moze decides she no longer likes her nickname (Moze) and tries to have her friends simply call her "Jennifer." Cookie invents a nicknaming machine that Loomer quickly steals for his bullying advantage. Cookie sets out to fix what he messed up, while Ned has trouble calling Moze Jennifer.

Shyness: Ned finds the Obo twins to be a perfect match for his girlfriend needs and Moze's best-girlfriend need. The only problem is that they're too shy. So Ned and Moze try to make over the twins. Cookie starts up his own shyness seminar.

April Fools Day: Ned, Cookie, and Gordy team up to fool the king of April Fooling: Vice Principal Crubbs. Moze tries to break up with Seth, but he thinks it's a prank.

Excuses: When a dog actually eats Ned's homework, nobody believes his excuse.

School Car Wash: The boys and the girls compete in the school fundraiser to see who can wash more cars. The boys team wants a hot tub, but the girls want to use the money more wisely. The boys, mainly Loomer, have bigger concerns than winning, while the girls band together to win.

Secrets: Ned and Cookie see Loomer kissing Missy. So they have to keep this a secret or else.... Meanwhile, Loomer's friend tries to tell everyone that he is in the sewing club. Moze learns Seth can't read or write well, and really feels she should tell someone.

Spirit Week: The King and Queen of Spirit are destined to go out; always! And Suzie wins the girls side with ease, to continue the family tradition of being spirit week queen. Knowing this, Ned gets in a battle with Martin Qwerly for Spirit Week King. Cookie and Moze get stuck with the spirit stick and can't let it touch the ground or cause the school to have bad luck.

Clothes: Ned and Moze get tickets from Missy’s newly formed fashion police. Cookie creates a school uniform.

Music Class: Ned and Cookie try to survive the boredom and tedium of learning an instrument in Music Instruction class while Moze gets Mozart music stuck in her head in Music Appreciation and can't get it out.

Class Clown: When the Class Clown moves to Cleveland, Ned, Cookie, and Moze do an all out search for a new clown before things get to depressing at Polk. But everyone who tries gets in trouble with Crubbs.

New Grade: Ned accidentally becomes the new class bully, while Moze deals with a not-so-friendly new English Teacher. Cookie tries to get to know the new no-braces, non-sniffling Lisa Zemo.

Dodgeball: Ned must battle the dark side, Loomer and his ‘secret weapon’ in a dodgeball game, and he must do it without Moze, the best player in school!

A new popularity list is posted – Missy "helps" Ned become popular so that he can ask Suzie out; Moze is in the top 10, but she does not like being popular; Cookie tries to find the list maker so that he can be made more popular.

Ned becomes stressed that Suzie has another boyfriend; Moze becomes stressed that she will end up like iTeacher; Cookie competes with his rival Evelyn Kwong for the best test grade.

Ned, Moze and Cookie must make it to the bus on time; Suzie moves into Ned's locker, which messes with his dismissal routine; Moze and all the other girls are forced to wait to use the bathroom; Cookie accidentally kisses Evelyn Kwong and must avoid her.

The school puts on a production of Romeo and Juliet; Ned is determined to stop Spencer, who is playing Romeo, from kissing Suzie, who is playing Juliet; Moze, the stage manager, is determined to stop Ned and keep the play on track; Cookie helps Ned so that he can get the role of Romeo.

The kids set up a Halloween party at Polk, and Principal Pal is thought to be dead after he enters the haunted hall.

Polk becomes a Halloween nightmare, where Ned is a vampire, Cookie is a werewolf, Moze is a ghost, and Gordy is a zombie.

Ned becomes project partners with Moze, who becomes jealous when he begins spending too much time with Suzie; Cookie is stuck with Evelyn Kwong as a social studies partner.

Ned is subject to forms of embarrassment such as tooting, burping, and the water fountain squirting on his pants; Moze tries to talk to a foreign student, Faymen, but ends up embarrassing herself; Cookie constantly gets pantsed.

Ned tries to get to school early so he can get rid of a note he wrote to Suzie that says "I love you", but the bus driver is distressed over his own recent break-up; Moze tries to get a seat next to Faymen on the bus; Cookie must try to get to school after he misses the bus, or rather, the bus misses him.

Ned tries to break out of school to get a free haircut; Moze tries to please Faymen with her hair, and ultimately seeks out Missy's help; Cookie tries to get Lisa Zemo to notice his mustache hair.

Revenge: When Ned gets revenge on Loomer, Martin notices and gives him names like "The Revenger." All the kids start to ask him to get revenge for them. A girl named Stacey wants revenge on Moze and the Wolf volleyball team.

School Records: Ned wants to beat the hallway speed record, he runs into Crubbs. Crubbs marks Ned's permanent record. Cookie loses his perfect attendance award. Moze tries to beat the school record for the most school records in sport.

Volunteering: Ned volunteers at a nursing home and shows an old lady around Polk; Moze volunteers to clean up the school back entrance with the help of Loomer, Crony and Buzz; Cookie competes with Evelyn Kwong in the school store. The Library: Ned and Cookie must solve the mystery of their missing library books; Moze "befriends" a girl in order to get a book she needs for a book report.

Hallway: Ned becomes the hall monitor and lets people in violation get off the hook, which leads the students believing that they can get away with anything in the halls; Moze tries to use hallway time to talk to Faymen; Cookie becomes the hallway traffic reporter. Friends Moving: Ned becomes concerned for his safety after the events of the previous episode, so he starts carrying around a pillow, or a "cushion protector" as he calls it; Moze tries to stop Faymen from leaving; Cookie tells Evelyn Kwong he is leaving for Hawaii, so everyone becomes convinced he is leaving; Suzie moves away, much to Ned's surprise and disappointment.

Cellphones: Suzie and Ned try to keep their long-distance relationship, by talking in between classes. Moze gets a new phone she has no clue how to use. Cookie wears a jacket covered in 33 cellphones in attempt to win a Mustang Convertible from a local radio station.Woodshop: Ned and Cookie blow up the art room, and have to switch to woodshop. Moze is entering a woodshop competition. Ned keeps overhearing Moze and thinks she is talking about her feelings for him. Cookie is on the run from a killer saw named "Christine".

Ned and Cookie must raise money in different ways after they eat all of the chocolate they were supposed to sell for school fundraising; Moze cannot seem to sell her last chocolate bar.

Ned teams up with Missy to battle Loomer in a Social Studies competition; Moze must find a new rival now that Suzie has moved away; Cookie fakes his way to become Lisa's salsa dance partner for a dance competition.

MAKING NEW FRIENDS; Ned tries to be friends with Faymen, Moze wants a friend to go shopping with and Cookie befriends the Weasel.

POSITIVES & NEGATIVES; Ned tries to cheer up the most negative kid in school, Moze finds out Faymen's kisses lack spark and Cookie tries to zap Loomer with static electricity

The trio need to raise money for a music festival; Ned borrows money from Missy that he must work off to pay her back; Moze gets her money from hard work; Cookie tries to get money from entertainment.

Ned goes to Seth's party with Missy and tries to ditch her when Suzie unexpectedly shows up; Moze tries to kiss Ned to determine if she'll see sparks; Cookie is not invited, so he sneaks in as the girl named Simone.

Guide to: Spring Fever and School Newspaper is an episode of the Nickelodeon television series Ned's Declassified School Survival Guide.

Ned suffers from an embarrassing itch; Moze tries to clean up the resuscitation dummy, but she throws it out the window and buries it, and Cookie thinks that it was Faymen; Cookie also is suffering from mood swings.

Ned and Moze pretend to date to free Ned from Missy's jealous rage; Seth, Faymen and Loomer fight over Moze; Cookie attempts to make Lisa Zemo jealous by pretending to go out with another girl, but instead, it makes Evelyn Kwong jealous.

Ned studies for three tests on the same day with the help of the school's geeks and becomes a geek himself in the process; Moze takes a test to see if Ned or Faymen is right for her and Faymen gets all perfect scores and Ned as a geek gets all zeroes; Cookie gives Evelyn Kwong a "test" to prove that they are incompatible and she decides to date Seth instead.

Ned tries to confess to Moze that he likes her; Moze must decide between Ned and Faymen, while Faymen has a decide whether or not to go back to Brazil; Cookie eliminates all of Lisa Zemo's other admirers so that he can spend time with her; in a surprise ending reveal, Suzie has moved back to Polk.

The school goes on a field trip to a museum, including Ned, Moze and Cookie, even after they have been banned from the field trip by Vice-Principal Crubbs for trying to forge a permission slip for Cookie. Ned tries to spend time with Suzie while avoiding Crubbs; Moze tries to see the wild boy, and Loomer tries to spend time with her. Cookie becomes "the Steel Eagle" to impress Lisa Zemo. Eventually, all three are chased by Crubbs, museum security guards, and samurai actors. Ned then becomes the museum's titular Wild Boy and must choose between Suzie and Moze. He chooses Moze, they kiss, and become boyfriend and girlfriend, while Suzie decides to date Loomer again. Cookie learns of a plan to steal the museum's Wild Boy painting, so the trio gain the attention of the security guards and catch the thieves. Cookie wins a date with Lisa. Meanwhile, back at the school, Gordy tries to catch the weasel with the help of the other teachers, whose items have been destroyed by the weasel. They eventually demolish the entire school to catch the weasel, only to find out that it has given birth; feeling sympathetic, Gordy and the teachers decide to spare the weasel.

Note: This is a double-length episode.