Leader-of-the-pack Laird loses his stud status when he learns his sperm count is low and Gracen's is high. Meanwhile Dougie is reduced to doing manual labor for Aubrey to score a spot in a pre-school, and Marmaduke navigates the modern day world of bartering.

Dougie wins tickets to see his favorite rock band, the Spin Doctors, but Cindy refuses to go because she doesn't trust anyone to babysit their infant; Leila distributes flyers door-to-door in an effort to boost her real estate career, but a typo identifies her as a hooker; and Laird adopts a neighborhood dog who turns out to be a wild, dog-eating coyote.