Valerie has a rough morning and the rest of the day doesn't prove to be any better when she gets a call from the school with news that Mark mooned the student body while up on stage accepting a citizenship award. Meanwhile, Valerie also finds herself dealing with David, who is grounded for breaking curfew and Willie who suddenly has in his possession a pair of num-chucks.

Valerie fixes David up with the daughter of a friend of hers, however, David slips into depression when he gets dumped. Meanwhile, the new neighbors, the Pooles have a dog, whose nocturnal barking is keeping Valerie up all night.

Valerie's friend Annie encourages her to try out a trendy hairdresser, however, she soon gets more than she bargained for when her hair gets dyed blond. Meanwhile, after tripping over Willie's skateboard, David blackmails him into being his servant.

Mark and Willie are intrigued by a slumber party that Annie's daughter is having next door. Tempted, they both decide to sneak a peak, however, Willie gets a peak at something he never expected when he sees, Annie's daughter naked.

Couch potato, Willie learns that life is no sitcom after he takes the family car for a spin, hits a parked car and allows David to take the blame, creating a crisis that just might not end happily in 30 minutes.

Basketball hero David dreads his upcoming knee surgery, while Mark wishes that the girl who has a crush on him would cut it out.

No one is looking forward to the arrival of Valerie's caustic Aunt Josephine, but once she's there, no one is prepared for her unexpected departure.

Relations are strained between new used car owner David and investors Mark and Willie, who expect to be chauffeured in return. Meanwhile, Annie's elm tree is clogging the Hogans' pipes and threatening her relationship with Valerie.

On her birthday, Valerie gets just what she needs when the boys give her a new garbage disposal, and just what she doesn't need when a client who has a crush on her gives her an expensive necklace.

Michael finds a silver lining in an airline pilots' strike since now he has plenty of time to spend with the family which all too quickly has Valerie and the boys wishing he were airborne again.

While heading to Bermuda to meet Michael, Valerie is mistaken for a purse snatcher by airport security and David misses a concert when he's forced to take care of Mrs. Poole's four-year-old niece, Pamela.

At a self-defense class, Valerie puts Annie's arm in a sling. At the same time, David may be in some hot water after he leaves the boys with a babysitter to keep a date.

Valerie's discomfort after a bunion operation is compounded by Mrs. Poole's relentless help. Meanwhile, David takes a sucker punch from his tutor's ex-boyfriend.

Old friends of the family visit for the weekend and one of them is a childhood sweetheart of David's who is now a grown woman who makes it obvious to him that she is still interested in him and suggests that perhaps they should take their friendship to a new level, a sexual one.

Willie's fantasy date with the prettiest girl in the seventh grade could be realized if he can just persuade Mark to make it a double date with the girl's cousin.

Valerie, the new coach of the twins' soccer team, benches Willie for laziness in practice while David, who wants a new car stereo, is put to work doing chores.

Although she's sworn off community theater, Valerie finds herself directing Annie's play, placating overworked stagehands Michael, Willie and Mark and trying to replace a leading lady who's under the weather.

When Mark's pet lizard dies while in David's care, Mark decides to haul David into small-claims court.

David takes his dad's new Italian sports car out for a spin to impress a young woman and ends up wrapping it around a tree. Meanwhile, the twins are feeling cooped up with the chicken pox.

Willie's wanton destruction of his brothers' personal belongings leads David and Mark to give him the silent treatment. Meanwhile, Valerie's dieting failures lead to an exercise in self loathing.

After borrowing Mrs. Poole's camper for a trip, Valerie and the boys are stranded in the woods when thieves with a taste for all the modern conveniences take off with it.

Valerie is less than thrilled with another visit from Michael's war buddy Skip Franklin who brings a surprise, his new bride, who may soon become his new ex-wife.

After Valerie's sudden death, Sandy, Michael's sister, moves in, and finds her school-counseling job a breeze compared with what she faces at home: David tries to be a ""supermom,"" while Willie and Mark are at odds over a science project.

Rich and Burt assume more than they should after David has a study session with the new girl in school and he lets them assume that they are much more involved than they actually are. Quickly he learns he's inadvertently destroying a reputation.

While moving in some of Sandy's belongings, the boys dig up old stuff in the attic, one of which is an old lamp David made as a gift for Michael. However, unaware to anyone, the lamp sparks a fire causing the house to go up in smoke and the Hogans to temporarily move in with the Pooles next door.

There's a hitch in the twins' school project on marriage when Willie goes after Mark's wife while David tries to best Sandy at anything.

David reexamines his belief in God after his history teacher has a heart attack and David saves him with CPR.

David risks losing his best friend when he locks him in a closet to keep him from driving while drunk. Meanwhile, Sandy, Michael, Mark and Willie pay a visit to a resort that Sandy had invested in.

David's on a roll at predicting football games and decides to bet some real money, but he could be wearing cement sneakers when he loses big.

Mark brakes David's fast times at high school when a special program puts Mark in the middle of David's classes and his love life.

The boys are all set for an evening of terror, watching a horror movie. However, when it's over each one of them is scared stiff and go on to experience their own version of ""Nightmare at Zombie High.""

Fresh from his triumphant A-plus in English, Willie crumbles under the pressure of composing a poem, while Sandy and David lose it when they lose Mrs. Poole's beloved dog.

Crushed by a girl's rejection, David's pal Burt falls hard for Sandy, while Sandy thinks her principal's the one with romance on his mind.

Sandy's ex-husband makes a move to get back in her life. Meanwhile, David moves into Michael's poker game.

There's a certain chemistry between David and his science teacher, while Sandy has a solution for a depressed Mrs. Poole, who's without her husband on their anniversary.

David's advice to Mrs. Poole to vent her anger against her overbearing mother-in-law backfires when Mother Poole moves in with the Hogans.

An eager Willie and a reticent Mark ditch school for the day, but when Mark gets caught, Willie feigns ignorance about the whole scheme.

Restaurant worker David smells trouble and it's coming from the kitchen as he tries to fend off the amorous advances of his boss's fiance. Meanwhile, Michael teaches Mark how to defend himself.

Sandy's dreaded blind date turns out to be a ""King"" while David is ready to crown his brothers when they horn in on his date.

Man's man Skip returns and takes Michael and David for a ride in a small plane, but when they're forced to bail out all of their lives are put in jeopardy.

The boys recruit an enchanting if ditsy housekeeper for Sandy, but she turns out to be ""a lust cause"" for David.

Michael and David's father-son retreat turns into a last stand when they get stuck in the Pooles' garage, while Willie and Mark get an X-rated tape stuck in the VCR.

Michael experiences close encounters of the most embarrassing kind when his friends find out he saw a UFO. Meanwhile, the twins' refusal to give David an extra Springsteen ticket sends his high hopes plummeting to earth.

College freshmen David, Rich and Burt have been feeling a little left out of the college social scene and decide to spark some attention by stealing a rival school's mascot, a wolverine, but when the fierce creature gets loose, it's every Hogan for himself. Meanwhile, Mark and Willie enroll Sandy in a computer dating service and she discovers this just as her date knocks on the front door.

After David fools the twins with a bald-faced lie, they turn the tables on the ""master of practical jokes"" by convincing him that his hair is falling out. Meanwhile, Michael chokes under the pressure of retaking his driver's test.

A nervous Michael dives into the dating pool bu doesn't make much of a splash, while David will stop at nothing to avoid immersing himself in an English assignment.

David has a crisis of conscience when he's attracted to the coed that best friend Burt has his eye on, but he's caught off guard when Burt throws down the gauntlet.

David lights a fire under his brothers to get them to help sweep out the chimney, but Mark does a slow burn when he gets wedged inside the fireplace.

Mark worries that he and his two left feet will trip over the light fantastic when Willie tells a girl that Mark likes, that Mark is a great dancer.

Sandy tries to teach Willie a lesson about cigarettes, but her efforts go up in smoke when she returns to smoking herself.

It's a dream come true for psychology student David when Sandy, ""Queen of the All-Nighters,"" agrees to be the guinea pig for his sleep deprivation experiment.

Sandy thinks she's hired ""Robo-Secretary"" after Mrs. Poole whips the entire school into tiptop shape. Meanwhile, Michael fends off the advances of an admirer.

Willie is stirred by first-hand accounts of apartheid from Sandy's South African professor, so he and Mark embark on an el-train ride to a candlelight vigil.

Mark and Willie are barely able to contain themselves when they spot a nude portrait of Sandy hanging in an art gallery.

Tired of being ""dull and predictable,"" Mark turns into a mini-James Dean, but his cool attitude only gets his family and friends hot under the collar.

David and a pretty student get off on the wrong foot, and they continue to bicker when they're fixed up on a blind date that could wind up opening their eyes to romance after all.

Love-struck David's girlfriend, Sara, receives a great job offer in Australia, so David decides to take the plunge and propose marriage, but Sandy and Michael think he's all wet.

David, Burt and Rich wager they'll have a wild weekend in Las Vegas, but they don't bet on ending up in jail. Meanwhile, Mrs. Poole displays some unusual talents.

Sandy and Michael endure twice the torture on a ""double date"" with the perfect prospective mates, while David decides to spend the evening bonding with his brothers.

David chafes under the Hogan house rules, so he moves into an apartment with Burt and Rich, who make Felix and Oscar seem like ideal roommates.

The numbers 4 and 0 add up to a midlife crisis for Michael, and Sandy only multiplies his distress when she throws him a surprise birthday party.

David puts himself in the penalty box over his guilt about injuring an opponent in a hockey game, and Mark threatens to body-check Willie for not paying a debt.

Willie wants to teach Mark a lesson in brotherly love when Willie's girlfriend decides she likes her tutor Mark better.

It's amore at first sight for David when Sandy's friend arrives from Italy to stay with the Hogans.

The Hogans take a trip to Paris and enjoy the sites and sounds. Meanwhile, David befriends an attractive woman, Julia, who unknowingly to him is a princess playing hooky from her royal duties. However, private investigators soon begin searching for her.

Paris, the City of Lights, has cast a romantic glow over David and Julia, however, Julia's day of playing hooky begins to slowly come to an end as the private investigators stake out the Hogan family. Sandy and Mrs. Poole quickly find themselves in trouble as they are chases through Paris by two men.

The private investigators catch up to Julia and whisk her away leaving David without an explanation or a goodbye. However, things turn around for the young couple as, Julia invites him and his family to a Parisian party fit for a princess.

Willie becomes obsessed with being number one on the track team and enlists David's help training him. However, Willie quickly finds that he doesn't have the will for training. Meanwhile, Sandy's ex-husband persuades her to dog-sit for a Cujo-like pooch who takes up permanent residence on the ankle of anyone who comes by.

Mark is all excited when he gets a date with a popular girl in school, however, his high comes to an abrupt stop when he discovers Willie has a date with her and soon it becomes a battle of brothers. Meanwhile, David does his best to put together an exercise bike that Sandy had ordered.

Mark wrecks his confidence when he has an accident during his driver's test, while David drives him crazy getting it all on tape for a class project.

David is all excited about the Homecoming parade but is let down when he discovers that he will be sharing a camel costume with Burt. To make matters worse, during the parade, Burt causes a fall that lands the both of them in the hospital.

Mark gets a job at Bossy Burger and goes out of his way to get Willie a job there too. However, Willie's constant goofing off goes un-noticed by the boss, who promotes him, then finds himself in a bind during a rush. Meanwhile, Sandy's attempts to re-finish the floor in the living room hits a snag when Michael is called out of town, leaving her to turn to David.

David finds producing a local cooking show starring Mrs. Poole isn't exactly a piece of cake. Meanwhile, the family is boiling mad when Michael installs a faulty home-security system.

After a breakup, Sandy tries to cheer up man-hungry, Rita Traeger and quickly discovers that her new best friend isn't the best of friends when she strands her at a singles bar. Meanwhile, David is trying to sell his mountain bike in order to raise enough money for a ski trip.

Sandy's friend is so broke up over a breakup that Sandy invites him to stay at the Hogans', but his mood casts a pall over the entire house.

David's toothache leads to romance with a bite for Sandy, who's feeling no pain after dating the dentist.

Sandy and Michael's parents come to Chicago for a visit and Sandy manages to make it through the visit without loosing her cool with her mother. However, things really start heating up when a blizzard hits and the family is snowed in.

When Sandy has to prepare for an upcoming presentation and Michael has to study for a flight test, David takes over the reins of the family and begins driving Michael and Sandy up the wall. Meanwhile, Mark finds himself battling a bully at Bossy Burger.

Michael's old war buddy, Skip comes to Chicago for yet another visit and a reunion where he will meet up with an old flying rival. However, Skip doesn't want to look like a failure, so David volunteers Sandy to pose as Skip's wife and himself to pose as Skip's son.

David might have to forget about his internship with a local TV station when Sandy, suffering from short-term memory loss, goes along for the interview.

David becomes obsessed with a girl and lays out a plan to get her. However, once he has her, he becomes haunted by the memories of a lost love and fears he may get hurt again. Meanwhile, the Hogans get cable which quickly turns Michael and Sandy into couch potatoes.

Mark has been tutoring a new girl, Cara, whom he has a crush on. However, she doesn't know he's alive because she has a crush on Willie. When Willie, goes to Mark to help him win Cara, a reluctant Mark goes along. Meanwhile, David prepares for an upcoming talent show.

David is trying to unload his old car and gets a pair of buyers in Mark and Willie. However, a double date turns into a disaster when the car breaks down on the side of the road. Meanwhile, Mother Poole comes for a visit and insists on an evening of Monopoly with Patty, Sandy, David and Michael.

Mark is made ""head heifer"" at the Bossy Burger, but he finds himself in a real pickle when his co-workers think he's become too bossy.

Michael comes down on Willie after his grades in biology drop. Mark agrees to tutor Willie for an upcoming exam but when Willie does well on it, he is accused of cheating. Meanwhile, David, who's taking a course on the films of Hitchcock, takes up spying on the new neighbor across the street.

Sandy decides not to send her angry letter of resignation to her principal but David mails it.

The upcoming prom has both Sandy and Willie with problems. Sandy is left without a caterer or a deejay after David botches a deal that Sandy had made. Meanwhile, Mark is going with Cara and Willie wants to go to the prom with Brenda, but an argument leads to Willie being dateless.

Sandy and Michael's father has just gotten a divorce and the family decides to go out to California to visit him. Grandpa Lloyd has taken to living on a boat and has plans to sail to Tahiti, something which Sandy is adamantly against. Meanwhile, David becomes a crew member of a film being shot on the beach.

Sandy and Michael fear the worst when Lloyd disappears but breath a sigh of relief when he is found safe. Later, Sandy tries to talk him into moving in with the family, instead of living on a boat. David's movie crew gig goes awry and Cara makes an unexpected visit, surprising a preoccupied Mark.

The babysitting kids misplace Mrs. Poole's infant niece.

Mark seethes when Willie gets the lead in a school play opposite Cara and he gets even crazier when he learns the two will share a romantic kiss. Meanwhile, Michael and Lloyd test their friendship on the golf course and David tries to curb Sandy's non-stop spending habits.

Mark and Willie have been preparing for a visit of Russian dignitaries to Bossy Burger, but they arrive a day early and to top all off, Mark and Willie skip out to go to a Rolling Stones concert leaving Sandy and Mrs. Poole to entertain them. Meanwhile, Michael gives David a family heirloom, which he accidentally destroys.

Sandy gets news that her ex-husband, Richard is remarrying. However, she just can't quite muster up any happiness for them and she is horrified when best man, David insists that she attend. Meanwhile, Lloyd buys Mark and Willie a motorcycle without consulting Michael.

David has hit a dry spell with the ladies and when he takes Michael's pilot's uniforms to the cleaners he gets a great idea. So him and Burt high-tail it to the nearest bar dressed in uniform to pick up girls.

Mark and Cara have a study session which turns into an all-nighter when she stays over. However, the family becomes suspicious that something other than studying took place when Sandy discovers Cara sneaking out of Mark's room in the morning.

Mark's volunteer job at the hospital sets the scene for a documentary that David and Burt are filming. However, during shooting, David runs into his old pal, Rich and discovers his old friend is now battling AIDS. Meanwhile, Willie decides to take a home economics course in order to meet girls.

David plans revenge on Mark and Willie when he loses his latest girlfriend because the twins beat her to a new job at a shoe store. Meanwhile, Mrs. Poole finds herself in a bind when one of Sandy's friends gets her thinking about having an affair, something she is seriously considering.

Michael has a new girlfriend and he's been sneaking around to see her. The family is in for a shock when they meet her, a college co-ed and classmate of David and Burt. Meanwhile, Mark and Willie dog-sit a pedigree dog and set out a plan to make some quick cash.

Lloyd is enthusiastic about an impending rendezvous with his first love who has come to town for a visit. Meanwhile, Willie and Mark get into a competition of sorts over romance. This after, Willie and Brenda get into an argument over his lack of romance. However, things go awry for both Willie and Lloyd when they get locked in a storeroom.

Christmas stress hits the Hogan family as Sandy struggles to get a Christmas tree and Mark and Willie battle it out over the same gift that each one wants to give Cara and Brenda. Meanwhile, David becomes a department-store Santa Claus but soon finds he is a victim of a pick pocket when he finds his wallet stolen.