The Warners have a problem when Sam develops some aggressive behavior with other playground children. A humiliated Kim points the finger at Greg, but Greg laughs it off and thinks Kim should just let Sam grow out of it. Greg changes his tune after he has to suffer the humiliation when Sam chokes another toddler at the park. So it's off to the library to do some research on how to cure the problem. Jimmy intervenes with his usual against-the-book advice by telling Greg what he did when Dominic became violent -- he found a bigger bully kid to knock some sense into him. Only after Greg pictures Older Sam going crazy and attacking a classmate does he put the books down and agree to do it Jimmy's way. With Kim and Christine off to a baby shower, Jimmy finds a guy with a troublemaking two-year-old who's bigger than Sam, and the fight is on. Marvin, the guy, arrives with his hefty son, Todd, just as Billy and Steve drop by Greg's backyard to see the ""match"" in person. They're not the only one

The Warners get some extra help around the house from their neighbor, Bernice, who's a little too eager to carry Kim's groceries and play with Sam. A chance encounter with an annoying lady at the pediatrician makes Christine realize she should start pushing Jimmy to chase his dream the same way he pushed her to go back to college. Jimmy's dream was to be an umpire -- which he didn't chase because Christine shot it down way back when. Now he says she was right the first time. Greg becomes so attached to Bernice, who baked him a pie and gave him a sweater, that he starts acting like she's his wife. Jimmy confesses to Greg that he's using Christine's destroying his dream as a trump card to get things out of her. But Greg manages to convince Jimmy that his dream isn't stupid and he should go for it. Kim lets Greg see, to no avail, that she's jealous of his affection for Bernice. Jimmy's first ump job is a textbook lesson in Murphy's Law, leaving the entire field up in arms at his extreme i

While drawing up their will, Greg and Kim have a difference of opinion on who should get custody of Sam in the event of their deaths. Kim wants Jimmy and Christine to have him. Though Greg thinks Jimmy is too irresponsible, he ends up deferring to Kim's wishes. When they tell Jimmy and Christine about it, Jimmy wonders how they expect a mooch to raise three kids. He learns that Greg's life insurance policy will handle that. But since Greg only agreed to trust him with his son and not his money, the funds were entrusted to Greg's sister instead. Jimmy is insulted that Greg feels he's too incompetent to manage his finances. Against Greg's wishes, Kim decides to give Jimmy $1500 of their tax refund to invest to prove his mettle. After a failed attempt at playing the stock market, Jimmy takes the entire $1500, plunks it down on a wet suit and scuba diving lessons, and starts up a golf ball retrieval service, fetching balls that golfers hit into the lake then selling them for profit. Greg b

When Kim arranges a playdate with one of Sam's classmates, she's in for a big surprise when the girl's mother, Jessica, drops off her child - she drops off her sweet, elderly nanny, Sylvia, too. Angry about her uninvited guest, Kim ignores Sylvia at first, but when she changes her mind and gives her the time of day, Sylvia lets her know that Jessica yells at her all the time. She's just afraid to speak out against Jessica for fear of getting fired. After Jessica returns to pick up her kid and Kim witnesses her yelling at Sylvia, she tells Jessica off and asks Sylvia to come to work for her instead. But no sooner than the new nanny starts work than Kim figures out why Sylvia got yelled at -- she's incompetent. Yet Kim feels so bad for Sylvia that she can't bring herself to fire her. At least not until she discovers how many other mothers have had her and how they all managed to get rid of her. Meanwhile, when Jimmy buys a robotic dog for Dominic and then accidentally ruins it when he le

Jimmy saves the day when he spies a strange man breaking into Heidi Klum's trailer, catches him trying on (and eating) her underwear, and holds him down until the police arrive. When the story makes the local news, Jimmy's seen as a hero to everyone except Christine, who's furious that he went beyond the call of duty and risked his life in the process. She demands he quit his security job, which she now considers dangerous, and get the studio to give him a different one. Though he doesn't want to, Jimmy asks Mr. Savitsky to reassign him, and ends up the new landscaping supervisor. He grows to dig landscaping, which gives him a golf caddy and wins him the envy of former security guardmates Billy and Roy, but when he overhears a burglary in process, he tries to be a hero there too by jumping the armed assailant... who, unfortunately for Jimmy, happens to be an actor shooting a film. Meanwhile, Greg develops an addiction to nasal spray and starts having junkie-like cravings -- and later p

Jimmy seeks to put a stop to Big Jimmy's lies that he coached Johnny Bench and other baseball legends in the minor leagues, because Dominic believes him the same way he did when he was a child. Remembering how upset he was when he learned the truth at 13, Jimmy confronts his father, calling him on his lies. Even though there's no record of Big Jimmy having coached anywhere -- and there never was a uniform stored in the Hughes' attic like he said there was -- Big Jimmy insists he's telling the truth. Jimmy takes Greg and Dominic to a baseball card convention, where Greg calls his mother to blast her for throwing out his now-valuable collection and Jimmy tries to undo all the coaching tips Big Jimmy gave Dominic. Greg bumps into Johnny Bench, and learns straight from the source that Big Jimmy coached him in Buffalo, after all. Jimmy has to eat crow when Greg introduces him to Johnny, who in turn introduces them both to Ernie Banks and Frank Robinson, both of whom Big Jimmy coached, too.

Kim throws a surprise party at Savitsky's beach house for Greg's birthday, but Greg can't have a good time, fearful that the weekend won't go well.