Downsizing at the airport forces Hilton to retire.

Hilton feels cheated that his company laid him off without even a goodbye party, but Ruthie tells him he's being childish. Hilton lands a job interview on Long Island, but when he tries to pick up his car at the repair shop, he encounters severe language barriers and the news that the car is beyond help. He grudgingly takes a senior citizens shuttle van to the interview, but it breaks down and he's stranded for hours. Hilton, with Pauline as his assistant, works on a magic act for a children's charity event as he continues to obsess about the party he isn't going to get. Later, on his way to another rehearsal at the children's center, which Ruthie has urged him to attend, he begins imagining that a surprise party is about to happen, but it doesn't. And when his company sends him a tacky pocket calendar, that's the final blow, but Ruthie presents him with a watch inscribed to her husband, ""who worked like a dog for his family for thirty years"".

To wrest control of his block from lowlifes (like the burglars who targeted him), Hilton forms a neighborhood-watch program (of sorts). Now watch the watch commander lose control and cause crime instead of preventing it: he intimidates a man who has just been mugged, has an innocent woman's car towed away, and then must explain why a missing elderly woman is found unconscious in the Lucas dining room.

The airline company that dismissed Hilton is now rehiring, and he's fired up to go back to work. But his impatience and confrontational attitude simply won't cut it. When the airline for which Hilton worked announces that it is hiring back thousands of laid-off employees, Hilton eagerly prepares for an interview, hoping to get his old job back. Wearing his best suit and armed with an album full of career highlights, Hilton is overjoyed at the prospect of working again. He spends the hours before his interview doing what he thinks are ordinary errands. However, he manages to get into a fight over fruit at the grocery, turn an eye exam at the HMO into a four ring circus, and witness a hit-and-run car accident -- that comes back to haunt him.

Deceit weaves a tangled web around Hilton, who tells ""one little lie"" and then, to keep up the ruse, finds that he must pretend he's someone else -- and not married to Ruth. In order to avoid attending a wedding, Hilton fibs about needing brain surgery -- and pays a high price. Hilton is always frustrated by everyday deceits, including truth in advertising. Nevertheless, he makes up the lie to avoid attending the Sunday wedding of the son of Ruth's friends, Elaine and Dave, which interferes with his watching sports on television. Pretty soon, he's ensnared in a tangled web of his own making..

Griffin is helping Hilton fix the bathroom door when Wendy arrives very upset and looking for Pauline, her godmother. Before she leaves Hilton has given her $45 to help pay her overdue phone bill. Later Pauline learns that Wendy is in debt for over $15,000, and she's determined to teach Wendy some fiscal responsibility, and she tells Hilton it will be a long time before he sees any of his money. Hilton goes to the bank and learns that not only has his bank has merged with another bank, but also that the computers are down and he can't withdraw any money. After a long, frustrating wait, Hilton uses the ATM machine outside the bank, and, instead of the $50 he requested, the machine gives him $11,000. Hilton is tempted to take the money and run. When Ruthie comes home, Hilton expects a compliment for fixing the door, but instead she discovers a huge scratch that Griffin has made in the wall. When Ruthie learns about Wendy and all her debts, she says she'll forgive the scratch in the wall

Although Hilton thinks he's going to fight crime in his new job as a security guard, he ends up as a glorified doorman who gets more than he bargained for. After Hilton graduates at the top of his class in security guard training school, he is assigned to his post at a fancy apartment building and is ready to be a crime fighter. Although he quickly learns that the job requires many things not taught in class -- like dealing with precocious young children who won't leave the lobby and walking the tenants' dogs, his professional training comes in handy when a robber breaks into the building on the night of the World Champion New York Yankees celebration party, which is attended by manager Joe Torre and pitcher David Cone (guest starring as themselves) -- only after they prove their identity to the overzealous Hilton!

In a White House public relations move, Hilton is chosen as the ideal ""common man"" to dine with the president. When Hilton calls in to a radio talk-show, the president's deputy communications director hears him and tracks him down to ask him if his family would like to have dinner with the president--on a date that conflicts with Ruth's plans for a relaxing weekend in the Poconos. As the Lucases get their home in tip-top shape for the visit, the media converges on them, and Pauline, Griffin, Singh and New York Mayor Rudolph Giuliani try to convince Hilton that, as ""extended family,"" they really should be included in the evening's festivities.

When Hilton and Ruth return to the blizzard-like conditions of New York City, after visiting friends in sunny Florida, they decide to put their house on the market and move south for good. After making the decision to buy a condo in the sunshine state, they both start feeling sentimental about leaving their home full of memories, but neither says anything for fear of disappointing the other. Meanwhile, the house next door goes up for sale and Griffin decides to buy it with the money he's saved over the years.

Pressed by Ruth to address his ""unusual behavior,"" Hilton enters group therapy. Bad idea. Now he misbehaves by counseling an old crony, who promptly loses his job.

Erica brings Julius, her boyfriend of three months who stars in a kids' TV show, home to meet Hilton and Ruth; Hilton is unimpressed and gives Julius a hard time. Hilton goes with Erica to watch Julius' program and inadvertently becomes part of the show. Erica desperately wants her parents to like Julius, but Ruth doesn't have much to say; Hilton announces that Julius wants him to be a regular on the show and introduces Happy Haliday, an actor he met there, who used to have his own kids' show. He tells Hilton that he's been cheated out of all his royalties and Julius is responsible. Hilton tells Erica who angrily confronts Julius and breaks up with him. Hilton, who's now playing Cowboy Bob on the show, assumes Julius will fire him, but Julius assures him that he and Erica have only had a little tiff, and he begins driving Erica crazy with his attempts to reconcile. Hilton decides to help Erica with her problem and confronts Julius during a show and locking him in a trunk. But Happy has

Hilton tries to convince the Social Security Administration that he is not dead.

A doctor places Hilton under strict quarantine after he catches the stomach flu. Griffin warns Hilton not to escape quarantine, but he doesn't listen and, one by one, everyone in the household drops, leaving Hilton to don his nurse's uniform. As he runs from sickbed to sickbed tending to his patients' needs, Hilton discovers that the members of his household are not at their best when they are sick - but he's determined to maintain his excellent bedside manner.

Fasten your seat belts. When Griffin tries to back out of a lucrative out-of-state concert gig because of a flying phobia, Hilton vows that he will get Griffin on the plane - no matter what it takes. When the commercial airline is grounded, Hilton calls on an old airline buddy with a private plane, and they're joined by Jack, who volunteers to underwrite the flight. But thanks to Jack, the pilot passes out, and it's up to Hilton to bring the plane down -- safely.