Devastated by Dick’s donation of her coveted designer shoes to charity, Rudi embarks on a quest with to recover not only her shoes, but also her New York swagger, leaving Dick and Apple at home to battle a fake witch with Greg’s unconventional help.

Challenged with criticism of her inferior parenting, Rudi starts Apple on performance enhancing drugs that result in the best kid ever, until she goes off the rails. Dick and his chicken manage to win the school's science prize without any enhancement.

Threatened with exclusion from Apple’s sleepover circuit, Rudi hosts one of her own, but it quickly spins out of control when the nanny she hires kidnaps the kids. Meanwhile, Dick has a video game session that scares the crap out of him.

Shamed to quit smoking, Rudi invites some NYC hipsters on a tour of the suburbs to immerse themselves in suburbia while she immerses herself in their second-hand smoke. Dick takes home a class pet, Marty the geriatric man, and struggles to keep him alive.