Leaving their hometown of Fulchester in the North of England, Sandra and Tracey head for the bright lights of London, shagging and boozing their way to fame and fortune.
College "frenemies" Lauren and Katie move in together after losing a relationship and rent control, respectively. Sharing Katie's late grandmother's apartment in New York City, the girls bicker with each other until one fateful night, when Katie's noisy bedroom activities make Lauren barge in and discover a dirty little secret. This revelation brings them closer together, and Lauren (the brains) and Katie (the talent) concoct a wildly successful business venture. As profits swell, the girls reevaluate their hopes and dreams and realize that just because someone pees in your hair in college doesn't mean she won't be your best friend 10 years later.
Sid and Bernie keep having their amorous intentions snubbed by their girlfriends Joan and Anthea, so when they decide to take them on a holiday to Paradise Camp, they think they're off to a nudist colony—but they couldn't be more wrong, and meet up with the weirdest bunch of campers you can imagine.
Mr. Hoppy is a shy old man who lives alone in an apartment building. For many years, he has been secretly in love with Mrs. Silver, a woman who lives below him. Mr. Hoppy frequently leans over his balcony and exchanges polite conversation with Mrs. Silver, but he is too shy to disclose how he feels. Mr. Hoppy longs to express his feelings to Mrs. Silver, but he can never bring his lips to form the words. Mrs. Silver has a small pet tortoise, Alfie, whom she loves very much. One morning, Mrs. Silver mentions to Mr. Hoppy that even though she has had Alfie for many years, her pet has only grown a tiny bit and has gained only 3 ounces in weight. She confesses that she wishes she knew of some way to make her little Alfie grown into a larger, more dignified tortoise. Mr. Hoppy suddenly thinks of a way to give Mrs. Silver her wish and win her affection.
A group of holidaymakers head for the Spanish resort of Elsbels for a 4-day visit. When they get there, they find the Hotel still hasn't been finished being built, and the weather is awful. And there is something strange about the staff—they all look very similar. To top it all off, the weather seems to be having an adverse affect on the Hotel's foundations.
Set in Haven Hospital where a certain men's ward is causing more havoc than the whole hospital put together. The formidable Matron's debut gives the patients a chill every time she walks past, with only Reckitt standing up to her. There's a colonel who is a constant nuisance, a bumbling nurse, a romance between Ted York and Nurse Denton, and Bell who wants his bunion removed straight away, so after drinking alcohol, the men decide to remove the bunion themselves!
This is the tale of industrial strife at WC Boggs' Lavatory factory. Vic Spanner is the union representative who calls a strike at the drop of a hat; eventually everyone has to get fed up with him. This is also the ideal opportunity for lots of lavatorial jokes...
Captain Crowther's lot is not a happy one! Five of his crew have to be replaced and at such short notice before the voyage begins there isn't much to choose from. Not only does he get the five most incompetent shipmates ever to sail the seven seas, but the passengers turn out to be a rather strange bunch too. The SS Happy Wanderer will never be the same.
With a flu epidemic running rife, three new bumbling recruits are assigned to Inspector Mills police station. With help from Special Constable Gorse, they manage to totally wreck the operations of the police force and let plenty of criminals get away, even before they arrive at the station. They all have to prove themselves or else they'll be out of a job and Sergeant Wilkins will be transferred. Sub-plots include romances between Wilkins and Moon, Constable and Passworthy.
A gang of thieves plan to make their fortune by stealing a shipment of contraceptive pills from Finisham maternity hospital. They assume disguises and infiltrate the hospital, but everything doesn't go according to plan. The hypochondriac consultant Sir Bernard Cutting, Matron and the doctors and nurses at Finisham have a habit of getting in the way.
The Wedded Bliss computer dating agency aims to bring together the lonely hearts of Much-Snoggin-in-the-Green. Its owner, Sidney Bliss, has enough complications in his own love life, but still produces a pamphlet called 'The Wit to Woo'. The strange collection of hopefuls lead to some outlandish matches—and jealousies are bound to lead to trouble.
Dick Turpin is terrorising the countryside around Upper Dencher. Captain Fancey and Sergeant Jock Strapp plan to put an end to his escapades, and enlist the help of the Reverend Flasher. Little do they know that the priest leads a double life. Then Madame Desiree and her "Birds of Paradise" arrive in the village...
Prepare for Six of the Best as the Carry On team cause chaos in the school yard. When a well-loved headmaster decides to retire, his scheming pupils have other ideas. The cunning boys unleash a campaign of practical jokes, armed with gin, itching power and bombs!
Henry VIII has just married Marie of Normandy, and is eager to consummate their marriage. Unfortunately for Henry, she is always eating garlic, and refuses to stop. Deciding to get rid of her in his usual manner, Henry has to find some way of doing it without provoking war with Marie's cousin, the King of France. Perhaps if she had an affair...
British sex comedy. Sir Percy de Courcy accidentally turns some poor tasting wine into an aphrodisiac when his old school chum, Mike Scott arrives with a photographer and several gorgeous models.
Professors Vrooshka and Crump decide to visit an archaeological site to study the artifacts there. Lo and behold, it's right next to a caravan site where all manner of people are staying. With a randy Major owning the site, a snobbish mother, and the two professors' constant innuendos, the film ends with a sinking caravan site and a striptease performance as a replacement for the cabaret night.
Bob is a car nut who's oblivious to his wife Sue's need for some amorous action and Barry's (his gay neighbor) unrequited affections. When Sue mistakes the legs sticking out under her hubby's car for Bob's and decides to take action, who can tell where events will lead?
Mavis Arden is a sensational movie star. Her following spans the world and her personal appearance tours prove her popularity. On her way home from one such appearance, Arden's car breaks down. She orders her publicity man to find her a place to stay, suspicious that he planned the break down to keep her away from a man. However, she soon finds herself mooning over an attractive repairman in town and listening to his ideas about inventing equipment for film.
A short, hilarious cooking mantra.
From My Little Stick of Blackpool Rock to God Save the Queen, this is the story of ten records from the 1930s to the present day that have been banned by the BBC. The reasons why these songs were censored reveals the changing controversies around youth culture over the last 75 years, with Bing Crosby and the Munchkins among the unlikely names to have met the wrath of the BBC. With contributions from Carrie Grant, Paul Morley, Stuart Maconie, Glen Matlock, Mike Read and Jon Robb.