The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari (1920)

Written by Horseface on July 24, 2022

This is the worst movie I've ever watched 15 minutes of. Lars von Trier once said he knew at the latest fifteen minutes into a movie whether it was worth continuing, and I took that advice to heart, so here we are.

Okay. Seriously. SERIOUSLY? Yes, 102 years ago, "cinema" was in its early years. Silent movies, someone on a piano going plonkty plonk while people were drinking moonshine, smoking plutonium and coughing up pneumonia. Great. How fantastically interesting in a historical perspective. (Seriously, though, it is.)

But hello, and welcome to reality in the now. This is absolute garbage. The only way this is useful in any way is as a source for memes. I'd like to see this with a death metal soundtrack. Or in MST3K form. Anything. Or simply as something displayed on the wall at a rave, for kitsch.

This is TERRIBLE. Anyone who rates this more than 1 stars is either a movie historian (thumbs up, dudes, I do appreciate you work, whatever it is, maybe not actually) or a pretentious dumbbell, who has never enjoyed a movie in his or her life for fear of being wrong about enjoying it.

Christ on a mongoloid horse. Garbage.