Mrs Johnson goes to the cinema with her boyfriend Franklin but Donovan spoils their evening, Gloria has a western showdown with a customer wanting petrol, Roy comes home after his first day of being a prison officer but has forgotten to lock the prisoners up again after tea time and in the Polar Bear Family sketch, Barry breaks both his arms. Unsuitable Bloke auditions to be a dancer in the opening titles for the next James Bond film, ""Die Another Golden Death Twice Tomorrow"" but when he gets rejected, as it's only for women, he puts it down to being black and therefore gets the job. The end result shows him doing bad dancing and forward rolls. Also includes a fight between 2 vampires and loads more!

Donovan meets Mrs Johnson at her art class, Gloria deals with a woman wanting Lottery scratch-cards and Lucius T Kool III shows the new church anthem: a rendition of ‘Shaft' but called ‘Pope'. Also includes a fight between a detective and forensic and heaps more!

Donovan meets Mrs Johnson at the school kitchens, Pope is attacked by snipers, Gloria the angry petrol attendant deals with a man having a heart attack, Clive tries to twist his son Curtis' nightmares and in the Polar Bear Family sketch, Shane wants to be a journalist. The fight this episode shows Lenny Henry as a wise man having a fight with another wise man at the birth of Jesus.

Roy puts notes around the house so as he doesn't forget his wedding anniversary, Gloria the angry petrol pump attendant refuses to sell cigarettes to a man dressed as a schoolgirl, Clive tries to keep track of Curtis 24/7 by using a video camera, Pope displays his security service of nuns, Unsuitable Bloke applies to be a picture restorer but gets rejected, so he puts it down to being black and gets the job. Afterwards, he smokes when using meths to remove a stain on a painting, causing the painting to set alight. In the Polar Bear Family sketch, Barry tries to make sure he doesn't get tranquillized. Also includes The Essex Witch Project, a take on The Blair Witch Project and as a fish shop owner, Lenny Henry has a fight with one of his staff.

Donovan bumps into Mrs Johnson at the vets, Gloria the angry petrol pump attendant deals with a man chatting up the ladies. Lenny also makes fun of Howard Brown, the man in the Halifax adverts. In the Polar Bear Family sketch, Shane wants to learn fighting moves so as to beat his dad. Also includes a fight between 2 Arctic explorers and much more!

When a customer asks Gloria to ring the police because her boyfriend is being attacked, the cashier puts a bet on which man will win, President Umbeleke finally uses government funding sensibly to build a hospital and inappropriately to eject hedgehogs into space, Clive buys the house next to Curtis so he can secretly be with his son and in the Polar Bear Family sketch, Shane and Ian trick Barry into believing he has laid an egg. The series finishes with Mrs Johnson going out to a restaurant for an evening meal on Valentine's Day, believing it has been set up by her boyfriend Franklin but it is in fact Donovan's doing. The randy OAP proposes to Mrs Johnson and she accepts.