According to the Archonic Head Trinity [Rex Lachrymarum/ Pater Suspiriorum/ Pater Tenebrarum], which "recently" (time descriptors have no meaning for this entity) has downloaded itself into this world from the 11-dimensional Chaos Factory (v.2, parallel universe cross-infection system) - incidentally an event that required the release of a 50 hexillion TEV hyper-plasmatic energy wave that continues to propagate across numerous dimensional barriers as we speak - the real Mater Lachrymarum is nothing like the witch depicted in this movie. If humans were to ever encounter the real deal, a brief look at her face would suffice to drive them instantly and irretrievably crazy. That may explain why there are so few genuine descriptions of her available - all eyewitnesses have become incoherently babbling, drooling morons and are presumably locked away in assorted funny farms. The Archon is currently resting, after having performed an autopsy on the Chicken of Primordial Fear, the first major task in his quest to conquer the World Machine (the holographic super-projector that is generating the reality continuum). Although we humans are little more than future praying robots and work slaves for the Archons, destined to live short, brutish lives under the radio-active glare of a black sun, the Head Trinity has deigned to provide us with a cryptic message, written on a postcard sent in 1805 from its vacation resort in the Swiss Alps (it only just arrived, so it must have taken quite an interesting detour; then again, you know how it is with time. The biggest surprise is actually that it wasn't sent from the future). We're not sure how to interpret it, but maybe someone will be able to decipher its meaning. It simply says: "This cable blew me away".