An innocent family sing-song takes a devilish turn, a funeral director solves the problem of choosing between burial and cremation, an ambitious employee panics when the boss tells a joke that fails to amuse, and police officers McGregor and Toshan have a pepper spray battle.

Local entrepreneur Alex Ciderson demonstrates his new invention - a pie scarer, squabbling sibling ice-cream sellers Paul and Walter celebrate their dead mother's birthday with rival birthday cakes, pub singer Ronnie Dreech delivers a literally explosive set, and a young man's chat-up routines are continually foiled as he swallows a succession of insects.

Burnistoun's major toy manufacturing company tries to solve the mystery of why its latest executive toy has failed to sell, the crime-fighting Doberman Man tracks down a boy who teased him at school, paranoia sweeps the local pub and pole dancing club, and an overpriced pizza causes two friends to have a breakdown.

Doberman Man comes face-to-face with his arch-enemy, Peter and Scott try to avoid seeing the faces of rival fans celebrating at a televised football match, James Bond meets a female contact in Burnistoun, a vending machine fights back after being kicked, and Carlos Zumba explains why his dance is so popular with women.

A problem arises for Burnistoun's housing association when a resident complains about a strange presence in his house, a gullible customer at a car-boot sale pays too much for a denim jacket, a couple who met on a TV dating show seem unable to forget the experience, and ice-cream sellers Paul and Walter's efforts to sell their product on the beach in winter ends in tragedy.