Michael and Zaria use reverse psychology to get their parents to let them have their grandmother's car by pretending Michael wants a tattoo and Zaria a nose ring, but the plan backfires. Robert and Jerri trick the kids by encouraging them and even driving them to the tattoo/piercing parlor. Meanwhile, Mrs. Wilcox dates a young man and asks Robert's advice on lovemaking -- and the disturbing images this arouses in Robert's mind affect his performance with Jerri.

Robert is concerned when Zaria goes on a date with Michael's shallow friend Troy, and resorts to hiring a woman from Derek's acting class to lure Troy away. When Jerri catches Robert in the closet with this woman, he's got a lot of explaining to do. Meanwhile, Nicholas's beloved pet snake gets loose in the house, and when he replaces it with a dummy snake, Jerri thinks it died due to her neglect.

In an attempt to establish a strong work ethic in Michael, Robert makes a bet that he can work side by side with Michael at his pizza parlor job. Unbeknownst to Robert, the manager of the pizza parlor once flunked Robert's class. Meanwhile, worried about gaining weight, Zaria appoints Nicholas her ""health cop."" Every time she takes an unnecessary bite of food, Nicholas gets to punish her by looking at a page from her diary.

Robert pretends to forget his anniversary, while all the while he's made special plans for a surprise romantic evening with Jerri; but when the evening arrives, he must first attend a lecture with special guest Jeffrey Osbourne. When an unexpected blizzard ruins Robert's special anniversary plans, he convinces the singing star to come to his house and help save his marriage. Meanwhile, when Michael is unable to repay a loan to Zaria, she forces him to perform humiliating tasks around the house.

Robert, who has been critical of Michael's former girlfriends, agrees to be nice to college sophomore Patrice when she comes to dinner. But Patrice makes a pass at a shocked Robert when they are alone -- and nobody believes his story. Later, Patrice suggests to Jerri that she and Michael accompany the young couple on a double date at a restaurant, where Jerri catches Patrice in action.

Robert hopes a stray mutt will replace Nicholas' imaginary friend -- if they can keep the pup hidden from pooch-hater Jerri. The school psychologist convinces Robert than an imaginary friend is completely normal -- but when he relievedly tells Jerri about the dog, Jerri and the psychologist are convinced he's the delusional one.

A dinner visit from Robert's classmate, now an arrogant Princeton professor who believes men are smarter than women, sparks a battle of the sexes when Jerri scores higher than Robert on an I.Q. test included in the professor's latest book.

To avoid a sex chat, Robert puts Michael on-line with a health program, which the teen uses to access a computer sex line catering to swingers. Before Robert catches on, Michael makes a date with a female correspondent -- and is shocked when his date, LaWanda, turns out to be an elderly woman with a moustache.

Robert charges Michael and Zaria with being too irresponsible to have a party---so the family holds a mock trial, with Jerri serving as the defense attorney.

A series of burglaries, followed by Nicholas's bike being stolen, prompt Robert and Jerri to buy an alarm system. Robert doesn't want to pay for the high cost of installation so he hires Derek and Wendell to do the job. Derek and Wendell are complete amateurs and fail to install the system properly. That evening the alarm goes off several times waking the family and bringing police to the door. When the alarm is finally disabled, Robert and Jerri talk about what happened and decide they can feel safe without a security device.

Robert is so impressed with Zaria's new boyfriend, Daryl Cooper, that he actually envisions him as his future son-in-law. Zaria is not nearly as taken with Daryl and tells her father she intends to break up with him. Robert is crushed by the news. He believes that if Zaria spent more time with Daryl she would grow to like him. He lets Daryl use his Volvo to take Zaria to a concert. Zaria spends some quality time with Daryl and decides not to break up with him.

When a bully picks on Nicholas, it brings back memories of Robert's own childhood nemesis---and he decides to track the man down and settle the score.