Debbie Reynolds plays an actress whose torrid memoirs convince Mel he's the one she remembers as the greatest kisser in her life.

Mel tries to outdo an old buddy who shows up boasting a track record of fast living and sporting a blonde on his arm as proof.

There's gold in them there walls, or so Mel reckons after learning that the eccentric who built his diner left $20,000 stashed in another building.

Joel Grey offers his services gratis as the leading man in a musical revue bankrolled by Mel and featuring Alice. Mel, however, has never heard of Grey and gives the role to his bookie.

Joel Grey walks out after producer Mel turns a revue about New York into a desert musical with tunes like ""Two Tootsies from Tucson"" and ""Ramona from Arizona.""

Alice's meddlesome mother knocks the stuffing out of her daughter's Thanksgiving dinner.

Carrie is slow to come out of a depression after a quickie divorce.

Everyone takes with a grain of salt Alice's claim that she saw a UFO.

Vera, whose cello playing can reduce a virtuoso to tears, is asked to play in a local string quartet.

The waitresses pit their musical knowledge against that of three plumbers on a TV quiz show.

Alice fears that freshman Tommy is abusing his new freedom away from home by majoring in extracurricular activities.

Jolene can't bring herself to bruise the tender feelings of a bruiser who saved her life and now considers her his girl.

Mel is stripping his gears over his jazzy new Porsche he purchased for a measly $20.

Mel has had it up to his keister with the way things are going so he absconds to his apartment for a beer and pizza binge.

Vera wishes her landlady the worst for evicting her pets then feels responsible when the old crank's apartment catches on fire.

In role reversals, Mel becomes an employee by accepting an executive position with a catering firm, and the waitresses become owners by buying his diner.

Afraid that he's lost the ""right stuff,"" Tommy quits the basketball team.

After Mel decides to have the waitresses bonded, Vera owns up to a criminal past and takes it on the lam.

To steal a competitor's secret sauce recipe, Mel persuades his cousin to pose as a woman and apply for a job as a Burger Baby.

Mel's experiment with a computer goes well until Vera enters a transaction and erases every trace of Mel's financial existance.

Using Tommy's marketing advice, Mel increases his business but also learns he's heading for bankruptcy.

Jolene's hair is standing on end with a cat burglar prowling her neighborhood.